I was sitting in church one fine Sunday when I got this text:
In the past there was another person who tried to become an SOTM, but something stubborn in me was bothered by that. Here when I stopped to think about it, Ben already has stud of the month status I had just never thought of it before. My reaction to the #studofthemonththings text was - totally.
One of the things that has always really mattered to me in life is friendship. I've never liked the idea that a friend is just someone to hang out with because it is convenient, or fills a need. I always strongly preferred the idea that friends would grow into people you genuinely love and that there is a loyalty and commitment behind that friendship. You would be there for them in the hard times, and stick up for them even if everyone else walked. I've always been surprised that everyone doesn't feel this way about friendship.
Ben is totally that kind of person. I first realized this when one of his friends had irritated me and I was not impressed. One of my less awesome qualities is a total lack of tact, so in true character, I vocalized my feelings to Ben. Ben was completely loyal to this friend and always is. In response, he'll always point out why he is friends with this person and what he likes about them. He even manages to stick up for his friend in a way that recognizes his friend's shortcomings, but still explicitly acknowledges that he does, and always will love this friend. I've known people who get that fake kind of I'm-better-than-you-because-I-don't-judge-and-you-do thing about them in situations like this, but Ben doesn't. He sticks up for people because he really does care about them. He's not judging, he just says it like he genuinely sees it. He's that kind of friend.
The second thing is his inclusiveness. I feel like I have boundaries in who I choose as friends, but Ben seems to be more open. We were in the same law school class, but he became friends with a lot more people than I did and keeps pretty close ties with most of them partly because I think he is just more open to accepting and loving people for who they are.
I was most impressed by this when I went to his wife's baby shower. It was filled with friends or significant others of people from our law school class as well as friends from church. I had been in both of those worlds, but he did a better job of building and maintaining these friendships. I left that event quite genuinely impressed by this and I find it something to aspire to.
So, partly because of his campaigning, and partially because he really is that awesome, Ben Hegvic is May 2015 Stud of the Month.
