A Matter of Perspective

By now, most of us have had repeated exposure to this picture. We all know that depending on how you look at it, it is either an old woman, or a young woman. However, long before these types of pictures became common knowledge, the Harvard School of Business used to do exercises with them.

Initially, they would give one person a version of the picture that was definitely one perspective. So, for example, in this case, one person would get a picture of the old woman, and the other person would get a picture of the young woman. Then the two would then get together and discuss what the picture was. Naturally, each person would insist on the version of the photo that they had previously received.

As time persisted, each side would inevitably progress from insisting that their version of the picture was correct to demonizing the other person. It wasn't just that the picture was of an old woman, it became "It is a picture of an old woman, you idiot!!" Expressions of anger, disgust, annoyance accompanied this demonizing. This reaction among the students would happen time and time again. (Keep in mind this was Harvard Business School, so other reactions such as crying, beating the other person up, or choosing to be silent in the face of an insistent partner probably weren't as common as they might be among the general population).

Yes indeed, it is a natural human phenomenon. I guess the question that has been eating at me since I learned about this is, how do I overcome this? One, how do I overcome the phenomenon of demonizing someone for seeing things differently than I do? Two, how do I become the kind of human being who, rather than insisting that it is indeed an old woman, to being the kind of person who asks, why do you think that it is a photo of a young woman? Three, even if I ever get to the point where I am skilled at doing this, how do I get to the point where I don't get offended at being demonized by others when I see things differently from them? Four, if I ever am able to do all of this, how do I help other people develop this skill as well?

For now, I think I'll let other people use their own agency to determine out how they want to deal with differences, and appreciate the examples of people who are good at this. For me, I think it is a matter of practice, practice, practice. Life certainly hasn't shorted me on a plethora of situations to practice in. I'll just focus on making a little progress each time life throws a new one at me.

And by the way, it is definitely an old woman, you idiot!!

(My mom can appreciate the fact that I didn't say "stupid idiot!!" Incremental progress. That is what I am talking about.)

What You Can't See...

I don't know if any of you remember that commercial. It is from the pre-digital camera era. It is the one where this woman has a life long dream of getting a picture of herself in front of the Eiffel Tower. She goes there, finds an obliging stranger to take this much anticipated picture. She gets home and develops her photos only to find that only the very top of her forehead made it into the picture of the Eiffel Tower.



Here, we were in a beautiful cathedral on the Washington University campus where they do a yearly sing-along with Handel's Messiah. We wanted a picture with all of us and a view of the huge stained-glass window behind us. I gave the camera to a friendly, elderly gentleman sitting behind us who seemed to understand the request. I think he was pretty proud that he fit us all in (which actually was quite a feat); he just forgot the window.

Studette of the Month - December 2008

I'll admit that sometimes, I am sure that certain people who cross my path are just destiny. Jenni is most assuredly one of them. She first ended up on my radar when my good friend Jessica White wrote me a letter saying that a girl she worked with just got a mission call to my mission. Now, I must explain that Jessica is a lifer - one of those people you meet in life where you know you will be friends for the rest of your days. So if someone Jessica would associate with was going to my mission, then surely I would get along well with her. And, I realized, she'd probably come into the mission when I was about ready to train. On top of that, quite possibly my favorite elder, Elder Jensen, mentioned later that day that a friend of his - this infamous Jenni, was coming to this mission. Now I was sure that if my lifer AND one of my favorite elders both knew her, she was sure to be great.

I wasn't shy about announcing to everyone that I was going to train Jenni when she came to the mission. Part of me thinks that my mission president tried not to put her with me because I was so sure I'd train her. But alas, my premonitions were right and I was assigned to be her trainer.

Nor was I disappointed either. When we met, we quickly clicked. We both shared a love of world travel. She had lived in Russia the same semester that I had lived in Paris. In fact, some of my associates from Paris were her old roommates and I remembered them talking about how great their roommates were. We had similar friends. We both had brothers out on missions at the same time. Our families are both very grounded in the gospel. We both talk a lot, we are both laid back in the same type of way, we both love to work, we both love reading and deep, intelligent conversations, and we even share the many of the same flaws. It was one of those meetings where you are shocked at just how much you have in common. Honestly, I'd never experienced anything like it.

There are those people in life where too much time spent with them hurts the friendship, and then there are those people who you love all the more the more time you spend with them. Jenni is the second kind of person. Since she was my mission companion, we were together 24/7 for four months straight. I thought to myself on many occasions that I am sure I could have spent forever with her and never gotten sick of her, ever. Something about who she is made me want to be a better person on a constant basis.



She is a natural optimist. She naturally sees and points out the positive things around her. She takes delight in the day-to-day things that most of us take for granted. It isn't like she consciously decides not to complain, it just isn't part of her nature to do so. You'd be hard pressed to find a picture of her where she isn't smiling. (You'd be hard pressed to find moments in life where she isn't glowingly happy.)

She has a natural sense of adventure which I LOVED having around. P-days were never spent in house. We explored and played to our hearts content. But it isn't like she doesn't take life seriously. She does. In fact, I've never met anyone who LOVES to work as hard or as much as she does. I think her greatest disappointment in me as a trainer was that I didn't work her into the ground; believe me, I tried, but I can only do so much.



Jenni is brilliantly smart, but not just a brainiac, she is a well-rounded form of intelligent. She is full of wisdom and insight, has both the strength and integrity to live what she believes, and ponders to an amazing depth. Most of the things I naturally ponder, she had pondered too and come up with insights that were a step beyond what I had ever considered, and I loved it.

Some of my favorite Jenni quotes from her are "I really hope to be the kind of person that people can love more and more the more they get to know me." To me this exemplified her ability to build in herself the characteristics that really matter. She has great superficial qualities such as humor and friendliness, but beyond the facade, there is a genuinely good person full of love and integrity. Because of this, she is the kind of person you can love more and more the more you get to know her.

A quote in a similar vein is: "People always say that no one knows your weaknesses and faults like your own family, but at the same time, no one knows your strengths and goodness as well as your family either." I find this statement to be so very true. I often think that I am sure acquaintances of my mother know she is a good person, but they can't know as well as those of us who lived with her for years do how good she really is. And even then, I am sure my dad knows better than anyone.

To say that Jenni is a loving person is an understatement. It isn't like she leaves the people around her "feeling" loved, she really does genuinely love them. It is a very unselfish kind of love. I was appreciated as her companion and I could feel it.

Because she embodies all that is good, fun, happy, and enjoyable and to someone I greatly love, this months Studette of the Month is my friend and old companion, Jenni.

Picture Tag

My friend Bret tagged me. He didn't really explain exactly how the tag worked, so I am taking a stab at it. I think that you blindly pick a photo album and then a photo in the album. I had Karen pick the numbers. She randomly selected my second photo album, 43rd picture.

This picture was taken when I was in Thailand the March before I left for law school. It was a steal of a trip because it was right after the tsunami struck and they were trying to jump start the tourism economy. Well, being the altruistic person that I am, I decided to help out :) We had a couple of unplanned days at the end of the trip so a few of us took off to different places. Some people went to Phucket to see the tsunami damage, but there wasn't really any so far as they could tell. Four of us flew up to northern Thailand. We were considering going to Cambodia, and I wish we had. But this day trip was incredible just the same. We found a fantastic tour guide who took us all over to see amazing ruins, markets, and even a thai boxing school. It was an amazing day, and this is one of the buildings that I saw.

Studette of the Month - November 2008

Since today is Veterans' Day, and Amy is a Veteran, today is the day to actually write her blog entry.

Probably most of you reading this have never met her, and I assure you, you are missing out. In my second year of law school, on the first day of class I had the impression that I should move down a row to the empty seat in front of me. But I just couldn't get up the nerve to move. As it turns out, that empty seat was right next to Amy and Kristie, and by coincidence, I ended up sitting next to them in every other class I had that semester. I didn't really know them, so this wasn't at all planned. When I invited myself to their study group later that semester, we all became friends.

How was I to know that I would be discovering someone I would grow to greatly admire. There were SO many nights after class, when she would drive me to my car, and we would just sit and talk. I always walked away with such an admiration for her, for her maturity of perspective, depth of character, her good heart, and her giving nature.

Amy wears a gold-cross around her neck. Because of this, I always thought she was religious. As I got to know her better, I learned that according to Amy service "is my church." She doesn't belong to any organized religion, but she serves religiously. And her service is contagious. My last year of law school I found my self attending a plethora of charity events. I blame each of these squarely on Amy. While there, I noticed that the majority of the others there were also there because of Amy's influence. And that is just the beginning. She will literally drop everything to help anyone in need. On the occasions that I forgot to bring a lunch to school, Amy would literally split her PB & J sandwich in half and give it to me. And even with all of that, it still doesn't even begin to sum up all that she does.

It only follows, of course, that Amy is well loved. It may seem from this description that she is incredibly saintly but lacking in personality, which I assure you is not the case. I wouldn't call it wit, but I am not sure what I would call it, Amy just IS funny. I can't tell you how many times Kristie and I had to keep from laughing in class by some off-handed comment Amy said or something she did...the best part is that she has no idea she is funny.

She is hard working, but not one to shirk play either. She joins us for hockey whenever she gets a chance. She often persuaded Ashley and I to forget about the books for a while and play racket ball. She is not too bad at bowling either (actually, she is great at bowling...even has her own bowling ball).

She'll invite you over for dinner and it is always great. I have yet to study at her house without leaving with freshly backed cookies, brownies, cakes, you have it. She knits, crochets, sews, and plays the piano. She serves in the Air Force Reserves, keeps up with old friends, yada, yada, yada. But, since she doesn't read my blog, I can say this, her car is a disaster. Yup. Move the banana peels, I need a place to sit disaster. It is so endearing; quite possibly one of my favorite things about her. (Amy if you ever read this, I'll delete this part :)

In the mean time, to someone who is kind, full of integrity, and really made a world of difference in my life, and who gives of her time to serve in the military, I nominate Amy as Studette of the Month for November of 2008.

On Gratefulness

I was mindlessly waiting at the cashier's office in the county courthouse today when my eyes focused on the images stuck to the cashier's window. It was decorated with thanksgiving stickers, turkeys, etc. It clicked that Thanksgiving is only weeks away, indeed, we are in the month of Thanksgiving. I decided that this month will be a month of gratefulness on my blog.

A few years ago I picked up an old classic I hadn't read since junior high, How to Win Friends and Influence People. The first chapter which can be summed up by saying, the first virtue of being a good people person is to abstain from criticizing, condemning, and complaining ESPECIALLY criticizing, condemning or complaining of, to, or about people. At that point in my life, that chapter really resonated with me. I started to take a mental tally of how much I condemn things just in my own thought process. The outcome was alarmingly bad. I concluded that I criticized, condemned and/or complained nearly 80% of the time. Hummm. I set about to change that.

Today, by contrast, I took note of my appreciation. I noticed today that I spend a great deal of time appreciating people and things. Perhaps I both criticize and appreciate, but tend to notice what I am looking for.

Here is some of my appreciation du jour:
Today the weather was that PERFECT fall weather. Breathtaking. The street west of the botanical gardens was GORGEOUS. It was warm enough to go outside without a jacket. The bright blue skies were contrasted by yellow, orange and red leaves, which were crisp, but not yet off the trees. Tomorrow it is supposed to rain, and then all the leaves will be gone, so I especially wanted to take it all in.

I had a moment of appreciation for the people I work with; all of them. Tom, the senior partner, has a heart of gold, as does his son. I also appreciate the office manager. I love that she is family oriented and how organized she is.

When I got home Debbie was over. I love it when she comes to visit. I appreciated that Holly called. She called right when I was leaving for the temple. Since being in St. Louis, we've had a tradition of talking while I am on the 20 minute drive to and from the temple. She didn't know I was going. How does she do that? I also had a great talk with Sara. Great conversations are SO amazing, and recharging and I LOVED it. I appreciated how great it is to have friends who draw me up and bring me to higher heights.

And that is only a VERY small portion of my appreciation today. I even appreciate having things to appreciate, because sometimes, let's be honest, life presents a dearth of things to be grateful for. Not so today, thankfully.

Under Water and In the Trees

When I left to visit Nebraska, I didn't envision that I would be watching sharks swim by.



gazing at jelly fish,



or watch the eyes and nose of alligators float slowly by.



I didn't expect to wander through a desert either.



or see jungle waterfalls,



or to walk across a jungle bridge,



see monkeys,



or see a jungle at all, for that matter. But I did.

However, I did expect to see this friend, and her fiancee...and it had been way too long.

Stud of the Month - October 2008; A Tribute to President

I had only been in Nice about two weeks when I attended my first Zone Conference under the direction of our mission president, President Wilcox. Each mission has a defined geographic area, and they are divided into smaller geographic areas called zones. In our mission, the zones were made up of a large city or two and all of the surrounding towns. Those portions of the mission meet together once a month in a meeting called a Zone Conference. In our mission, President was always in attendance. My trainer and I were stationed in Nice and the zone conference was in a nearby town. On the train ride to the zone conference in the wee hours of the morning, I wrote a letter to my friend Jake (prior SOTM) about how frustrated I was that I the language wasn't coming more quickly.

So there I was, as new as could be, sitting at my first zone conference, with my notebook dutifully opened. As I listened to the speakers, I took notes from the words of the speakers and made personal notes in the margins of my impressions. When President (as we called him) got up to speak, at one point he addressed me directly and said, 'Sister Methot, do you ever feel frustrated about the language?' I was shocked. How, amid all of the missionaries did he think to ask me? It was as if he could read my mind. As he went on to speak, I became even more shocked as he quoted several of the notes I had written in the margins of my notebook. I knew that he had no idea what I'd written in the margins, nor what I'd written Jake in my letter earlier that morning. That was when I came to realize what an inspired man under whose direction I would be serving for the next eighteen months.

This past weekend a friend from my mission came to visit. We talked well into the night about what an amazing person President Wilcox is. Story after story revealed his patience and love for us missionaries. He was so kind, so patient, so understanding, so forgiving time and time again. On the flip side, we were so young, so selfish, so immature, yet he saw the better side of us. He believed in us...I don't know how. I will say that both he and Sister Wilcox were amazing. Really, they taught by example how to be Christlike.

In a way, he was like the Bishop of Digne (reference to Les Miserables). His actions were in line with what he taught. In his younger years he had served a three-year mission in France, so he was ever compassionate and aware of what we were going through. He really sought to understand, and always reacted with compassion.

Even after the mission, he volunteered to write a recommendation for me for law school. Never mind the fact that he was insanely busy, traveling between Paris, New York, and Colorado at the time. He was also humble. Rumor has it that he is beyond brilliant, but you'd never even get a hint of it from him. His demeanor is unassuming and quiet.

I wish there were a way to express how lucky I was to have him as my mission president and how much appreciation I feel for the quality of person that he is. Even seven years after the fact, I still have an ever growing sense of respect for the quality of person that he is. And gossip never hurts his case. The hidden stories only further reveal what a great job he did as our mission president.

Swearing In Ceremony

P.S. - This means I passed the bar!

A Snapshot of New Hampshire

Fall 2008 in NH. Enough said.

High School Tag

Your High School's Name-Manchester High School West (i.e. West High)

High School Colors- Blue and White

High School Mascot- a knight

Did you date anyone from your school? Sure did, although I NEVER expected I would. My freshman and sophomore years guys didn't even know I existed, and if they did they weren't kind to me. Then, Fred started calling. He was my first date. The spring of junior year, Chris and I began to go out and were an item throughout the rest of high school.

What kind of car did you drive? I didn't have a car. But, the priceless days with Kristi and the blue flame made up for any memories of my own car I could have wanted.

It's Friday night where are you? Freshman and sophomore year I was at home with the fam. Junior and Senior year I was at parties, church dances, or hangin' out with Chris, Kristi, Ethan, and other friends.

Were you a party animal? Hardly. But really, the parties (of the non-drinking sort) we did have I loved. We had a great group of friends and there was a party every other weekend junior and senior year.

Were you considered a flirt? Definitely not. I was way too shy and way too loyal to be a flirt of the real kind. But, I did flirt with Chris since he was a huge flirt.

Were you in band, orchestra, choir, or any other group? I ran track, sort of. Ethan, my brother, and I were on the cross country ski team our senior year.

Were you in any clubs? Yeah, but I don't remember all of them. National Honor Society...etc.

Did you ever get suspended or expelled? Rrrriiiiiiggggghhhhtttt. I probably missed three days of high school total, if even that.

Can you still sing the fight song? I am pretty sure we didn't have one. If we did, I didn't know about it and would have been too cool in my own mind to learn it if we did have one.

Who were your favorite teachers? Hummm...Mr. Labore [English]. He was so funny and incredibly easy. I was very lazy in high school and strategically picked my teachers for how easily I could get the grades I wanted with as little work as possible. Mr. Tripotsis [Chemistry], however, didn't go along with this plan. He was my most challenging teacher. I enjoyed his intelligence, but hated how hard I had to work in his class. I loved making fun of Mr. Snapple [Math], (no, that wasn't his real name, that was just what I called him.)

Where did you sit during lunch? Depends on the year. Freshman and sophomore years I sat with whoever was kind enough to let me sit with them. I was hopelessly shy. I had a couple of years sitting with Mike, Trisha, Dan, Jamie and the ROTC crew. Mike, Trisha, Jamie, Dan, they were all brilliant and incredibly funny. They recently found me on facebook. They haven't changed a bit. Junior and senior year I sat with Genevieve and Alyssa and other friends.

Who did you go to Homecoming with? We didn't have homecoming. I did go to the harvest dance with Fred my junior year.

Who did you go to Prom with? Chris and Chris.

If you could go back and re-do high school would you? I echo Sandy. No way!!

What do you remember about Graduation? My favorite picture is the one of Ethan, Holly, Me, Chris, Kristi, and Alyssa. I can see the picture from where I am sitting to write this blog entry. We are all smiles with our caps and gowns on. Someone gave us flowers. I still had a sunburn from a day on the beach. It was a great time.

Do you plan on going to your 10 year reunion, or if you already went what was it like? I didn't go. I was in the middle of law school when it happened. It was in NH and I was in MO finishing up school. Besides, I didn't have many friends in high school and I still keep in contact with most of the people who mattered to me.

I tag Kristi for sure and anyone else who wants to do this.

Hello Blogging Community

Well, the response of the blogging community for the Nielsons has been so amazing that it has been covered by the news. Hopefully they will be able to make it through. Certainly the prayers, donations, and supportive comments the family has gotten have been a great support. Don't we all wish for that in our rough times? Crazy how small the world can be sometimes. A guy in my ward happens to be related to Christian Nielson (cousins). He mentioned it a few Sundays ago and my roommate and I were like - hey, we follow that blog...

There is another tragedy that happened to a young family recently. This mother gave birth to her third child and her body had an unexpectedly miserable reaction. Because of it she went blind and doctors had to amputate one of her arms and a leg above the knee. Insurance is not covering many of the expenses. The costs are in the millions. If you want to read about it or help them out here are the links:

http://sccsdecker.blogspot.com/

http://sccsdecker.blogspot.com/2008/06/update-to-account-information.html

I think the weird thing about blogging is that it can be funny, whimsical, and also personal. But people somehow get to know you in the process, and they do care. Stephanie Nielson, for example had many people who had found her blog and were so affected by her accident that they took action and in a way set a precedence for what blogs can do. It really will make a difference. It just amazes me.

Studette of the Month - September 2008

I know what you are thinking...which of these is September's Studette of the Month. It was a tough pick, but I decided to go for the one in the middle. First of all, she is my roommate, so I get to observe her a little more closely than the other two. So, what makes Karen so great you wonder. Last time I was posed with this question, the poor guy got a 1/2 hour answer.

When Karen and I decided to be roommates, it was more out of convenience than friendship. She needed a roommate, I needed a new place to live...perfect. I knew she had a good sense of humor from a brief interaction at Family Home Evening, and that was about all I really knew about her.

When I moved in, she was out of town. As I unpacked, I observed her book collection (which includes the classics of Anne of Green Gables and Les Miserables) and her marathon medals, I was sure we'd get along well. My friend Dustin wondered how I could be so sure.

"The clues" I responded.

"Oh, so do you also have an obsession with honey?" Dustin asked. I had no idea what he was talking about. He pointed out an unopened box of honey on the dining room table. I was a little curious about the honey obsession, but otherwise she seemed like a great fit.

It shortly became evident that Karen is a people person. She is considerate to a depth that is exceptionally rare. She is always thoughtful of my situation and adapts accordingly. As my school schedule became more and more engrossing, Karen would come back from the social gatherings I could not attend and fill me in on how our friends were doing and pass on their hellos. I never felt left out or lonely even though I didn't do much of anything social for many, many months.

Karen is incredibly service oriented. If someone has done something kind for you and you can't figure out who it was...Karen is most likely top on your suspect list, if you have a clue. After she became my roommate, I kept getting thanked for things I never did. At one point a mutual friend was going on and on about how unusually kind it was for me to give him a birthday gift. It was so unlike me, blah, blah, blah. How right he was; I had nothing to do with the birthday gift. It was all Karen, with my name attached. I think she was cognizant of the fact that I wanted to be able to give, but I couldn't and thoughtfully attached my name even though I didn't deserve the credit.

Karen is honorable - through and through. I have a deep respect for her level of integrity. She always makes up lost time at work. She doesn't take discounts she isn't entitled to take. She has been more than fair in every interaction I've had with her. She gives more than she takes.

She is a leader in ways that she doesn't realize. It has been so interesting, as a roommate, to observe the ripple effect of her actions. I've watched her make dinners for many people when they were incredibly busy with school. Then I've watched those some of the same individuals offer to do the same for me when I was busy studying for the bar. I sat there wondering, where do people think to such fittingly kind things? Then it dawned on me, Karen. She set the example.

I had the same epiphany after a church mingle one Sunday. Before I went to her ward, she came home one Sunday and explained, somewhat frustrated, how everyone just up and left after they ate. So she stayed and cleaned until everything was done. When I joined her ward, inspired by her past comments, I followed Karen's example in the cleaning after, and so did a few of our friends. A month later, I realized that a great majority of the ward helped to clean up post-mingle. People just spontaneously joined in without even really noticing that a change had taken place.

It is not all that surprising to discover that at the root of Karen there is faith, deep, strong, vibrant faith. I have loved, LOVED living with a returned missionary. My mother is a returned missionary and have always loved the unique caliber of person found there. It is nice to be able to talk of miracles, the depth of love and faith that come with that level of service and sacrifice and meet comprehension.

You may wonder, does Karen have any flaws? Yes, she is most certainly human. But even her shortcomings are a reflection of how deeply she cares for people. It makes sense that she is well-loved by many.

In light of a year's worth of observation, our one person committee nominated Karen as September 2008 Studette of the Month.

Footnote 1 - She comes from a family of beekeepers...thus the box of honey on the table.

Take Time to Smell the Roses

I once mused to myself, do I want to live life like a science or an art? My parents live life like a science. Life is stable, secure, and predictable. I studied humanities in undergrad. It was a time in which I was passionate about art, literature, and architecture. I believed in following my passions. In my musings, I concluded I wanted to live life like an art...

I only signed up for 13 credit hours when I lived in Paris. This way I wasn't overwhelmed with school and I could focus on falling in love with Paris, which I did whole-heartedly. In the process, I discovered a new passion, exploring. In the evenings after class I found new parks to explore. On Sundays, I explored Cathedrals. I explored every museum, monument, cafe, concert, event there was to find. But mostly, I made it a goal to always smell the roses, which I did as I strolled home for dinner in the evenings. I savored every moment.

Today, I ran a new path and found some utterly beautiful landscape. Realizing that the fall is only weeks away, I realized that this too must be savored. These pictures really don't capture the moment, but I thought I'd share just the same. This is a scene from Tower Grove Park. Maybe tomorrow I'll get some pictures of tall, old, ivy-covered trees which line my running path and were probably planted by Mr. Shaw himself. In the mean time,

Enjoy...

The Ghost of Birthday's Past

The only problem with September birthdays is that it is right at the beginning of the school year, so I generally celebrate with people I hardly know. They pretend they care. I pretend to be thrilled about the birthday pencil from my teacher. I can't expect her to be all attached to me on the first week of school.

However, when I was 17, my best friend, Kristi, threw me a surprise birthday party. I did not see it coming AT ALL. That was points for her because, I really didn't expect a surprise party would ever be lost on me.

When I turned 18 I was a new freshman in college. I went out to breakfast in my PJ's with the other 12 girls on the floor who also had September birthdays. In the picture I have from this event, I am walking down the dorm hall with a t-shirt, boxer shorts, and a finger sticking out. I couldn't bend my finger because I'd jammed it trying to disparately to stop a zip line before I slammed into a tree. I hardly knew anyone, but it was fun to be a freshman.

19 - Living with friends in Provo. My roommates made me a cake and we celebrated. I still own the sweater I was wearing in the pictures from that day.

20 - Roommates pretended they didn't remember it was my birthday so nothing was said until really late...it was funny, but I wasn't hurt that no one remembered. I used to have great fears I'd get married really young. I felt a huge sense of relief that I would never be a teen bride. Broke my leg the day after and spent the next month on crutches. (What can I say, September 11th is not exactly my lucky day.) My friend Shaun took me to the mountains for dinner a little later (crutches and all). He made a birthday wish for me that my life-long dream of traveling abroad would come true. Somehow I knew that his wish would come true. He just seemed to me to be one of those people who always got what he wished for.

21 - I was on my study abroad in Paris. Again, still getting acquainted with people. The whole group went to the Hard Rock Cafe in Paris. They shut off all the lights in the restaurant. The waiters had sparklers and they set a cake with sparklers in front of me and the entire restaurant sang while the waiters pounded the counters. It was incredible. I spent the evening going to the Eiffel Tower...It was amazing.

22 - It was a Sunday in Nice, France. I had been told a day or so before that I was getting transfered after 7 months in my first mission area. Cecile and Martine had been baptized in that time. I was worried for them. The ward had a tendency to be harsh. In my parting testimony to the ward, all I could think to say was...if you loved me, love them. So much of what I cared about was wrapped up in them. Left the area realizing why, when you love others you love God...because he loves them so much.

23 - My birthday was on a Monday, the day before THE September 11th; my last semester at BYU. I celebrated with my Family Home Evening group. It was fun, but a little too fun. It put me furiously behind on homework. When THE September 11th hit, I spent the ENTIRE day off from start to finish catching up on being only one day behind. It was a rough semester.

24 - I was living in Salt Lake with my mission trainer and 4 other amazing women. Had my old roommate Leslie, my brother Vince, and Jenni & Danny come up from Provo for my birthday. My Mexican neighbors came over...it was great.

25 - Had my birthday celebration at my soon-to-be roommate Jessie's apartment. Aaron, Chad, Jessie, Michele and other friend's were there. Chad and Aaron sent me tons of helium balloons at work because the ridiculousness of the vision of me toting all of these balloons to my car was enough to keep them laughing for weeks. I left the balloons at my desk.

26 - My boyfriend and I used to plan dates on our lunch breaks each Thursday alternatively. It was his week to plan. He sent me a Gerber daisy at work that morning with a note indicating the location of where I should meet him. I met him by the fountain at the city library where he presented me with a shoe box wrapped in gift paper. The shoe box contained our lunch, a sandwich, bananas etc. which were wrapped individually. We took a tour of the library gardens. I thought that was it, but later that night he presented me with the real present. He was a writer, and he'd written a fictional story where I was the main character (and a pirate.) It was so funny, laced with French words he'd subtly asked me about in the weeks preceding my birthday. I came across it again the other day...man, I loved his creativity.

27 - Turned 27 my first year of law school. I had just moved to St. Louis. The Lindell YSA group took a trip to Columbia, Missouri for a conference. I got a birthday card written in French from some anonymous person. I spent all day trying to figure out who gave it to me. Spent much the day cleaning chairs in a nursery school for a service project with Ben A. and Cindy. The YSA group all signed a cute little birthday card. Pretty nice considering they still hardly knew me.

28 - Amy officially took over my birthday planning. A group of us went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Brien got me a book of farm animals...David gave me a Boeing paper weight with the world in it. Mark gave me a movie card. Liza and Adam were dating.

29 - Karen put huge letters on the kitchen wall spelling Happy Birthday. I thought that was really nice of her considering we had only been roommates for a few days. Amy's magic planning again. We went on a boat ride on the Mississippi, then ate dinner with law school and church friends in a restaurant in downtown St. Louis.

30 - History here has yet to be written. I know mom will call. I'll go out to dinner with a few thoughtful friends. Katie will make blueberry pie. Either way, I'll be 30 and excited to welcome in a new decade.

All in all, perhaps September birthdays aren't so bad after all.

Observation: It Is All About the People

I was done the project my boss had me working on so he had me ask his partner if there was anything he needed me to do. It seemed that he didn't because rather than answering my question with mounds of work to do, he engaged me in conversation. He asked me what kind of law I wanted to practice. I gave him the honest answer, anything that I feel ethically o'k with is my bottom rung, and top rung is that I'd love to do immigration or international law.

From there the conversation led to divorce and that sometimes it is better for couples to divorce. He asked me my feelings on family law. I told him I wouldn't be interested in dealing with the acrimonious feelings that come with divorce. I remarked that some situations are just rough to deal with and make for nasty divorces. He looked at me, paused, and remarked that it really boils down to the people more than the situation. Without thinking I brought it back to the fact that some situations are just rough, like abusive marriages, a spouse cheating, and other tragedies; even good people would struggle. Holding his ground, he said no, it really boils down to the people more than the situation.

Noting to myself that he has a lot more experience both in law and in life, I realized that he is probably right and made a mental note to take notice of the truthfulness of this assertion in the future. It is not the situation, it is the people.

You will notice in the upper right hand side of this blog I have added a little gadget saying that I read NieNie. As you click on that button it will take you to another blog of a woman I have never met. If you search a bit, you will find a link her sister's blog. Last night I was reading it and was amazed to see example number one of my lawyer friend's observation. Stephanie and her husband were severely injured in a private airplane accident a few months ago. Via the blog, I have watched Stephanie's friends put on auctions to raise money to pay for the medical bills that will be in the millions. Stephanie's sister is taking care of the children and keeps a blog that many, many people she has never met have responded to. These fellow bloggers give her support when it is emotionally rough. Even more so, I noticed while reading her sister's entries that their spirits are generating love and resilience rather than bitterness and helplessness. Certainly this situation would seem to merit bitterness.

I think that my lawyer friend made a profound observation. It is not so much the life situations we encounter, but rather what is inside of us that really spells the difference. Prior to this situation I thought that our life situations defined us, now I am converting more to the belief that we define our life experiences.

Hello from Mississippi

My friend Amy is currently in Mississippi. She is in the military. I asked her I could post some portions of her last e-mail since it gives an inside look on what is going on there in the hurricane area.
.......

I'm happy to report that I am now back to the base - safe and sound. This area didn't get it too bad - there is damage but it could have been worse! The highway out near the gulf is still closed but I'm confident that they will open that soon and there are trees down and some usual storm damage but in Biloxi - it seems they got lucky. As I write this - I have had a good HOT shower and I'm comfortable with Power and TV! ;-)

Many restaurants and businesses aren't open yet as many people are still figuring out what damage they sustained or they are trying to return from evacuating. They were handing out ice, water and food at several locations in Biloxi this afternoon for the residents who are still without power. The National Guard is patrolling the streets and there were a bunch of Federal agents from Department of Homeland Security arriving at the base when I got here today. On Sunday, they evacuated the base here and many of the students were put in storm shelters. Because I went camping with my family - I was out of the area and that meant that I couldn't return to the base until they gave the 'all clear' so last night I had to stay at the camp ground by myself! The campsite was nice and it was a great weekend with my family but when they left me there alone last night I thought I was just NUTS! I made it through the night - met some really nice people who had evacuated from the storm from Louisiana and they are fearful that they will have a lot of damage to their property when they return. They fed me dinner and kept an eye on me since I was alone. It rained off and on throughout the night and then when I got the all clear to return to the base I had the crazy adventure of driving through Mississippi in rain and thunderstorms with constant 'tornado' and 'flood' warnings coming across the radio.

...

Many people in this area are still reeling from Katrina - the repairs in Biloxi and Mississippi in general seem to be slower than in Louisiana - to me it seems that the money went with the publicity and that was centered in New Orleans. They are still repairing roads here and it's not uncommon to look up a restaurant in the phone book only to find that it is not there anymore.

Pray for the families that have been impacted by this storm and will have a long few months ahead of them. They are suffering from lost wages, damaged property, unexpected expenses from evacuating and from the stress of not knowing what lies ahead.

....

Maybe we can organize something when Amy gets back. She is amazing about community service. If any one is up for that, just shoot me an e-mail.

I Believe in Love

It has been a very interesting weekend that has left me pondering some of my beliefs. My beliefs get challenged often times simply by getting exposed to others, their ideas, beliefs, practices, experiences, lives. Something deep within me, more often than not, simply disagrees with many ideas. But, I am at a constant challenge with myself to live those ideals.

One idea that I believe in is loyalty. I don't believe in just being friends in the moment. I don't believe in simply being friends because it is convenient. I am not perfect at this by any stretch of the imagination. But once friends, true friends, always friends. I believe that love is eternal.

I have heard, over and over, people say that their friendships are a calculation, a formula, a scale, and when it gets too hard, they walk away. I understand this view, but I disagree. I understand walking away from abuse, manipulation, and malicious intentions, but to walk away mid-tragedy...that I don't agree with.

Furthermore, I have watched, time after time, that when people go through a really hard spot, they find themselves abandoned by people who they thought were true friends. I really, really hope that I will never be one of those friends. But, inevitably I will let someone down, I am sure. But, there is something about watching a friend suffer with depression, death, mistakes, prison, anorexia, lack of employment, loss of a child, that in my mind, requires sacrifice and an increase in love.

Also, I do believe in love, marital love, family love, friendship love. I believe it is real, tangible, a power in life that goes deeper than any of us really comprehend. I believe that marriages can be glowingly happy; I've seen it. I am the product of it. I know it is possible for me. I believe couples can stay dedicated to each other in the face of short comings, disease, cancer, accidents, faults, most everything. I believe that criticism does not have to be an inevitable part of marriage and I do believe that marital love can be very, very sweet.

I believe that families can love and respect each other deeply. I guess I should say, it is more than a belief, it is knowledge. I know these things are and can be real. I believe that one man can be satisfied by one woman and vice versa. I believe in purity, chastity, and morality - not as a stick to beat people by, but as a support, a loyalty to another, a commitment to another human being, a family unit, a segment of society.

I love the feeling of love that comes for me after a long conversation with friends and family members. And that may be a really cheesy thing to write on a blog...but it is true. I love the feeling of warmth, brightness...and that quiet humility that comes from really connecting with someone. That quiet knowledge that I need to be better, because I love.

I believe in the perfecting quality of love, that it demands the very best from us. If we really have it, we willingly give the best we have for others because we desire the best for them. Sacrifice comes willingly and without compulsion. Love is a driving force for good.

I believe that people are irreplaceable. I believe in brothers, sisters, children, babies, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends...and that it has the potential to be all that we ever dreamed it could be.

These beliefs are just a part of me. They always have been. I think that something in me will always believe, and if that belief weakens through experiences of life, then I will always have hope, a very real hope, that these things are and can be real. I really have no idea where my life will take me. I could find myself in a war-torn country someday where damaging abuse has happened on a wide scale. I could live in a place where no one believes in love. I have, actually, already lived in a place where love is not as abundant as it is in the U.S. But, despite all that is said or done, I do believe in love. I believe in generating love. And if none of these things are or can be, then my existence is futile.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

You Are Belle!

Intelligent and kind. Your beauty goes much further than your apperance. Also, you make judgements of people based on their personality and not their looks. Attaining all the knowledge that you can is one of your major goals in life, but you are also a person who can make things happen.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Funny Little Moments

I decided last night that when I went running this morning I'd stretch while watching the French news on my laptop. Got up, went running, listened to the French podcast - which P.S. is generally much better about international coverage. So there I am stretching away while my heart beat slows down when the end segment was about a French study about the "American" sport of jogging with aging. The study compared people over the age of 50 who run a few times a week versus those who don't. These French scientists were "astounded" at the profound difference it made. Those who ran regularly were less handicapped, had a longer active life, and died much later than their sedentary counterparts. By the end of the study 34% of the sedentary people had died whereas only 15% of the runners had passed away. If that isn't motivation to go running tomorrow as well, I don't know what is.

Grubfest 2008

Something strange has been lurking about St. Louis. Maybe you've noticed. I first became aware of it last year 'round about this time. I finally was able to put my finger on it. The only word that adequately describes it is Grubfest.

After a surreptitious search of the dictionary I finally found the definition.

Grubfest: A phenomenon takes place around the peak meteor season of the summer in a town called Grubville. Participants, known by the local population as 'Grubfesters' find their way to a field (which is either infested with chiggers or bulls) and watch the shooting stars.

I thought for sure that after spying on last year's adventure Grubfest would not be a recurring event. But, as it turns out, it tripled in size AND had a 75% return rate of last years attenders. I blame this on the fact that people don't actually read my blog (otherwise they would have known better) and the 'Grubfesters' from last year are certifiably crazy.

Since I know that none of you would find the authentic dictionary definition convincing I attached some covert photos of the Grubfest phenomenon.





Grubfesters



Grubfesters Nate, Debbie, Eric, & Robert



Chantal n' Debbie grubfestin'



Laura n' Eric moseying around the boats. The "lake" on which these boats sit is a man-made lake. You'd expect nothing less of a grubfest host.



Robert Marshall(known secretly to Grubfesters as 'Host') with the boats.



Unfortunately, the phenomenon of Grubfesters is evident in other places as well. This phenomenal phenomenon may be taking place near you!! You may discover pockets of 'festers' during peak meteor time just before dawn on August 12th. Consider yourself warned.

http://www.earthsky.org/article/earth-skys-meteor-guide-for-2008

A Nastalgic Moment

I remember being a kid in junior primary looking at the class just older than me. I realized that one day we'd be grown ups. The thought was a little too weird to really digest. It was soooo far away. I couldn't even imagine it.

Before I went to college, I had never been on an airplane....or ever out of New England more than a handful of times. The thought that tomorrow I'd be in an airplane across the country was so...weird.

A day later I sat there in my newly moved in dorm room wondering if I'd ever have one of those often spoken of experiences of staying up all night working on papers. I couldn't really fathom it.

Before going into the Missionary Training Center there was that building, the mysterious building in which I'd never been beyond the room where you see missionaries off in. I'd watched my brother and rare good friends leave from there, but I couldn't really imagine that I would ever really see the inside.

Before the marathon, as they bussed us up into the mountains, it was that same surreal feeling. The idea that at the end of the day I'd have actually run a marathon was a hard to imagine.

Yesterday, I was sitting in my hotel room wondering what it would be like to take the bar. Well, I am half way done. Life is so strange sometimes. Today the girl seated next to me looked at me and said, 'We are taking the bar. How weird is that?' She spoke my feelings exactly.

But, somehow everything does get done. All of us primary kids grew up, and most have long since finished college, gotten married, and had children. I've now been on more airplanes now than I can count. In college, I stayed up all night writing papers on more nights than I can count. I completed the mysterious world of the MTC and I managed to survive the year and half after that. Somehow the marathon was run, gimp knee and all, and now I am halfway done the bar. Life is so surreal sometimes.

Trumpet Lessons for the Angels

I've been working on my topic for the Idea Group (angels) for a while now and it has been...incredible. The things I've learned have far exceeded what I ever would have guessed. When I prayed to know if the church was true, the answer that it is true far exceeded the answer I expected to get. Although, truthfully I had no expectations. But the breadth and depth of what that means is continually impressed upon me.

For example, angels throughout time have testified of Christ. In the Book of Mormon an Angel appeared to King Benjamin and told him that Christ would be born to a woman named Mary. His name would be Jesus Christ. (Mosiah 3:2) The angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and told her that she would bear a son, and his name would be Jesus. He was subsequently named Jesus and "his name was called JESUS, which was so named of the angel before he was conceived in the womb." Luke 2:21

When Christ was born, angels appeared to the shepherds. When Christ died, two angels were in his tomb and testified that he had been resurrected. Angels helped the work of the apostles even after Christ was gone, for one let the Peter out of prison after he had been placed there. (Acts 5:19)

Angels are no less among us now. In this dispensation, Joseph Smith was visited by numerous angels. At the pinnacle of all of the temples is a golden figure of the angel Moroni, the angel who brought Joseph Smith the Book of Mormon.

I guess the thing that has impressed me is that all of the records I could find of angels all point to one thing, that Jesus is the Christ. They not only testified of it long before he came, but they made sure that all of the prophecies were fulfilled, and they testified of its fulfillment. I already knew the church was true, i.e. that it is the one that Christ in his resurrected form directs under the direction of the Father, but I never realized how much the role of angels has played in the gospel throughout history.

I hear constantly that the most important thing is to be a good person, simply a good person and religion doesn't matter. I would submit that both matter. I think being a good person is the responsibility of every human being no matter what their beliefs. With that said, truth is truth.

This scripture really hit me yesterday:

John 18:37 Pilate therefore said unto him, Art thou a king then? Jesus answered, Thou sayest that I am a king. To this end was I born, and for this cause came I into the world, that I should bear witness unto the truth. Every one that is of the truth heareth my voice.

Angels throughout history have born witness of Him, Christ bore witness of his role, and I bear witness of him. Jesus is the Christ.

This One is Dedicated to Cindy

A Weekend in Nashville

Visiting Nashville this weekend was so great. It was full of reunions. Andrea, Sandy, and I used to work together. Who knew we'd meet up again in Nashville of all places.



And Jake got married.



And I got to visit with my college friends.





We thought Jake's truck looked a little drab. So we decided to apply our collective artistic touch.

Josh's Jackson Pullock +



Andrea's pretty bows +



Elliot's artistic eye +




Kristen's touch +



My finesse +



Garret's contribution =



MASTERPIECE




What can I say; they loved it.