2010 New Year's Resolutions

My New Year's Resolutions for 2010 are:

(1) Do Less.

(2) Be more superficial.

(3) Play more.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Adultery Still a Crime in New Hampshire After 200 Years

Read here for details

A Mormon Version of Twilight

Twilight Years from Tom on Vimeo.

Shared Obsessions

Kristen is obsessed with motherhood.

Zack is obsessed with music.

Chris is obsessed with Ireland.

He is obsessed with facebook.

Things I Loved Today

Talking with my sister Colette:



Reading this blog entry:

Kisses From Katie

Going here:



- Too bad I can't put a link to a delicious smell, because my roommate discovered my new crock pot (which matches with our red sink, i.e. super cute) and the house smells so amazing.

I am happy.

It was a great day.

What a Thoughtful Guy

On my way to my bedroom tonight, I stopped by to say hi to my housemate.

"Did you know, tonight you weren't in yet, and Max turned on the lamp for you so you would have light when you got in."

The soft sound of Max's snoring wafted over from his bed as we chatted, when this caught my eye:



"Did Max do this?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied. "He tucked them all in. He wakes them all up in the morning with an alarm clock and sings to them."

My favorite is the transformer snuggled in with the stuffed animals.

Stud of the Month - November 2009

I had trouble for a few months there finding a worthy hero worthy of SOTM. But, today I found him. He may feel like an unsung hero, but here at AOFYT, he is duly noticed.

See here for details.

P.S. Mike, when you read this, I hope you'll be deeply inspired...and I'll never have to restock the copier again.

Fashion by Chantal

Thailand 2005



Thailand 2005



Oregon 2005



Nashville 2008



Nashville 2008



Nantucket 2008



Nantucket 2009



Utah 2009

Chantal + Traveling + Sunday = Ubiquitous (and wrinkle free) black dress.

Link Tidbits

Source

Thinking of you Jess, I thought this was so cute

Thinking of you Adam

Cute Halloween idea

My FAVORITE Halloween idea

It is a toss up whether the second picture down or the mash potato ghosts are my favorite

Love the cupcake conehead things

A Tried Stone

a “stone, a tried stone, a precious corner stone, a sure foundation” would be used. (Isa. 28:16.)

Just a little thought I want to share. A question I have had to encounter a lot in my life is the question, 'Why do good things happen to bad people?' On my mission in France, I was constantly given the question, 'If there is a God, why do bad things happen to good people?' I cite Christ's life. He was the son of God, and yet he suffered tremendously. If he didn't know his divine purpose, it would seem that God hated him.

But today, the phrase "a tried stone" from Isaiah struck me. Christ remained true despite it all. He obeyed the will of his Father, even when it meant taking on the sins of the world. He was tried in all things, and not found wanting. Now, as a resurrected being, He is a sure foundation.

I know that Christ lives and when the trials of life come, as they inevitably do, remember, that the greatest being that ever walked mortality with us had a hard time too. There was divine purpose to it all, and there still is.

What Did You Do Last Night?

I just saw this on another blog and was thinking how funny it was that my life is nothing like hers...at all.

But an intriguing question nonetheless. My exciting weekend started off with an interview at the branch president's house. It was at 7 pm. I went there straight from work, so I was still in my suit when I got there. But thankfully, I didn't feel overdressed because he was in a suit too.

(I know, you are riveted at this point, thinking, "could it get much better?")

At some point before the interview my roommate had called asking if I could babysit Max. Well, I had no great plans, so why on earth not? Besides, she often lays breakfast out for me in the morning, packs me lunch, and cooks me dinner. OF COURSE, I'll babysit Max.

I was driving home, pondering the greatness of the invention of the GPS, when I got a call from Stephanie.

"Are you still planning on coming?"

Complete pause.

"Uh, oh, yyyyyeeeessss, I am still planning on coming." Truth was, I'd totally forgotten that I'd responded to the facebook invite to go to her concert.

"But I am running late, so I don't think I'll get there in time...and I am going to bring Max with me, if that is o'k."

"Sure, I just wanted to know if I should have Shane save a seat for you or not."

"Best not, because I'll be late, and I'll need two seats. See you there!!"

I called my roommate; she got Max ready to go out. He had a bright, yellow, Sponge Bob Square Pants hat on when I got home. I kept the heels and changed into a black dress.

Max and I headed out into the night.

When we arrived and usher found us a seat where we "wouldn't disturb people." As we sat in our seats I scanned the crowd. No other children anywhere to be seen.

The concert was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, and I am not a huge fan of classical music. I was amazed at how phenomenal they were, especially for a community orchestra. Max picked his nose through the first half of the concert.

After intermission, poor little Max fell into a deep sleep in the theater chair that his body weight barely kept down. Thankfully he wasn't snoring. After grappling with what the best mode of action was, I decided to carry him out.

I softly grabbed his hand in an attempt to wake him up, but he was COMPLETELY out of it. I pulled his little body onto my lap, and managed to stand up without "disturbing people." A kind usher saw my plight and steadied me by holding my elbow as I carried the 60-pound child down the red, carpeted staircase in four inch heels.

It was quite a long walk to the car and I tried to hold Max tightly in my arms. When he woke up enough to stand up, I managed to get his Sponge Bob hat back on. He walked groggily to the car.

I discovered as I got Max ready for bed, that his mom had dressed him over his pajamas. Smart woman.

What did you do last night?

Things That Really Were

Allies march into Poland

My grandmother was only 12 years old when the allies marched into Poland. Those were dark days, she told me during a phone conversation this afternoon. For three years, so from the ages of 12 to 15, the only reports on the news were that the allies were losing. The summer after Pearl Harbor, which happened on the morning of Sunday, December 7, 1941, my great-grandfather joined the military. With news as bleak as it was, it was time for him to give back to his country. Great-grandpa, a cousin, and another man joined the military. For those who joined the military before they turned 18 (parental permission was required, but almost all parents gave it), if they had maintained a high enough GPA through high school, the Nantucket High granted them a war diploma so they could leave. Doesn't this seem so unreal?

Hitler's Youth Soldiers

Fast forward to the fall of 1999. I am in living in Paris traveling by train to Germany for a weekend trip. I am excited for this trip because I am taking a European history class and this trip coincides perfectly with my class. Our reading assignment for Monday was about Nazi Germany. The book contains pictures of Hitler's youth army. I am sitting there in this overnight train reading away in my history book, when several young German soldiers entered out train cabin. One large, blond soldier sat next to me. I struck up a conversation with him, and when I ran out of things to say, I went back to reading my book. Soon, my friend Audra, who was sitting in a seat facing me, said in a hushed but serious tone,

"Chantal, I think you should put your book away. The soldier looks offended."

Turning to the solder I asked him, "Does this bother you?"

He said in a loud, defiant voice and a thick German accent, "We are NOT killers!"

Needless to say, I put the book away.

Allies enter France

After my study abroad, I returned to France a few months later as a missionary. I was amazed at the older generation of French citizens. For instance, while at Christmas dinner, one older lady told of how she was only six years old when the allies came to France. She was hiding in a field. This was not an extraordinary conversation, but simply her sharing a bit about her life at the Christmas dinner table.

These stories that were just part of a curriculum in my history class, were her life, and this was the case with most of the older French citizens. They were children when the allies had finally arrived and the memories were poignant.

I guess I am writing this because these things seem so remote to me, but this evening I was chatting with Grandma on the phone. It is amazing how often the conversation with Grandma turns to the war. It was a huge part of grandma's formative years. Her high school friends left for war. Some of them never came back. Her dad left to serve. The tragedy of the world was her personal tragedy. The reality of those events humbly hits home for me.

These things really did happen.

Music

Many of you don't know this, but I have a secret passion for music. O'k, o'k, who doesn't right? Agreed. Music is one of those things, I don't know anyone who doesn't like it. Add me to the masses. I tend to fall in love with songs obsessively, which HAS to be annoying for my roommates. One of THE biggest sacrifices about serving a mission was that I couldn't listen to the radio. The day I was released, the music was back on.

When I was younger (junior high), I used to compose songs in my head. Sometimes I find songs by artists that explain a musician's relationship to their song, like the song here.



2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to

Writing a song is an AMAZING experience. You don't feel like you are writing a song per se, but you feel like the song has an existence all of its own, it always was, and you are the one who heard it, and wrote it down. There is an electrifying emotional connection to the song and you are simply the conduit. You hear it in your head, but more than that, you can FEEL it with every ounce of who you are. Consequently, I love music and artists where it is obvious that they feel their music, because it really resonates with me.

Interesting perspective on song writing in This American Life Episode. I actually fell in love with the Phil Collins song mentioned because I could tell that he was very emotionally connected to his piece and as they say in French, ca m'a marqué. (literal translation is 'that marked me'. There isn't a perfect equivalent in English.)

My experience gave me a new appreciation for people like Mozart and even the eccentricities of musicians and artists. (You know what I mean, the violinist who has to actually enact the music in bodily movement while they play and they look mildly crazy.) With the intensity of the music, you feel like everyone else's experience with the song is a fuzzy, black and white photo compared to your rich, colorful view of the beautiful vista from the top of a mountain. You wish everyone could experience the song in its rich entirety.

Picture from here.

(Even cooler pictures taken by my sister's awesome boyfriend, Sam here.)

Impressed

This is what my distant cousins in Quebec are doing :). They did this entire video in one shot, no cuts. Amazing.

The Friends We Make Along the Way

I have 18 minutes in which to write this blog entry.

Max came into my room tonight and said - "Not another rain check tonight, ok?" Hello, melt my heart.

(1) He learned the word rain check from me.

(2) He remembered...for this reason, I love kids.

So I told him I'd play with him at 7:30. I was planning on reading my scriptures...but I am postponing until after my dance class at 8.

O'k, first, I want to point out that my favorite blogger ever is going to be on Oprah tomorrow. See here for details.

Second, I gave a talk in church a few weeks ago. It was a terrifying experience. I'd been praying and preparing all week but nothing came together for me. Normally I've rehearsed it, or at least know the stories I intend to tell before I get up there. But this time, the heavens were silent. I had no idea what I was going to say. I got up there, and what ever came to mind came out of my mouth. The funny thing is, that so many people have come to me after and said how natural I seemed and what a great talk it was. Well, it certainly wasn't due to my great forethought, that is for certain. But the thing that struck me the most, was a friend's comment that they felt so much closer to me post-talk, and how strange that one person can have everyone else feeling closer to them, all-the-while they are unaffected. Interesting. I think blogs are kind of like that sometimes. The blog above is a case and point. She doesn't know me at all, but I love her blog. Even gave a little start when I saw her father's campaign signs dotting the street corners of Provo this past week.

Lastly, the friends we make along the way. I got an e-mail from a beloved old friend today. Oh how I love him. I have, hands down, fought more with him than all of my other friends outside of my family combined, and then some. But when it is all said and done, the love is so there. Love is not something that needs or demands perfection, I think it is naturally perfecting, because it is so very real and genuine.

I spent my last weekend in Provo/Salt Lake. It was so very wonderful meeting up with old friends. Support, challenge, a push for growth. I LOVE them. I wish I had pictures of all of them. So just imagine a picture of Shaun and I. We are both in work clothes. He is in a park ranger uniform, and I am in a dress from work. I loved the juxtaposition. Then imagine Zack and I at a BYU football game. We are right by the field cheering...or rather he is cheering, and I am apathetic. He is slightly annoyed, but being kind about it.

With that said, the pictures....well, actually, they will have to wait. Max's time has come and he has rolled a tennis ball into my room and grabbed my tennis racket. No more rain checks. My blog will have to wait for another day.

The Value of Friends

Read about it here.

A few quotes from the article:

"If you want to be happy, what’s most important is to have lots of friends. Historically, we have often thought that having a small cluster of tight, long-term friends is crucial to being happy. But Christakis and Fowler found that the happiest people in Framingham were those who had the most connections, even if the relationships weren’t necessarily deep ones."

"The reason these people were the happiest, the duo theorize, is that happiness doesn’t come only from having deep, heart-to-heart talks. It also comes from having daily exposure to many small moments of contagious happiness. When you frequently see other people smile — at home, in the street, at your local bar — your spirits are repeatedly affected by your mirroring of their emotional state. Of course, the danger of being highly connected to lots of people is that you’re at risk of encountering many people when they are in bad moods. But Christakis and Fowler say their findings show that the gamble of increased sociability pays off, for a surprising reason: Happiness is more contagious than unhappiness. According to their statistical analysis, each additional happy friend boosts your good cheer by 9 percent, while each additional unhappy friend drags you down by only 7 percent. So by this logic, adding more links to your network should — mathematically — add to your store of happiness. “If you’re at the center of a network, you are going to be more susceptible to anything that spreads through it,” Fowler said. “And if happiness is spreading more reliably, then on average you’re going to be catching happy waves more often than you catch sad waves.”

"behaviors appear to spread differently depending on the type of friendship that exists between two people. In the Framingham study, people were asked to name a close friend. But the friendships weren’t always symmetrical. Though Steven might designate Peter as his friend, Peter might not think of Steven the same way; he might never designate Steven as a friend. Christakis and Fowler found that this “directionality” mattered greatly. According to their data, if Steven becomes obese, it has no effect on Peter at all, because he doesn’t think of Steven as a close friend. In contrast, if Peter gains weight, then Steven’s risk of obesity rises by almost 100 percent. And if the two men regard each other as mutual friends, the effect is huge — either one gaining weight almost triples the other’s risk. In Framingham, Christakis and Fowler found this directionality effect even among people who lived and worked very close to each other. And that, they argue, means it can’t be the environment that is making people in Framingham fatter, since the environment ought to affect each of these friends equally."

"They discovered that people who were deeply enmeshed in friendship circles were usually much happier than “isolates,” those with few ties. But if an isolate did manage to find happiness, she did not suddenly develop more ties and migrate to a position where she was more tightly connected to others. The reverse was also true: if a well-connected person became unhappy, he didn’t lose his ties and become an isolate. Your level of connectedness appears to be more persistent than even your overall temperament. “If you picked up someone who’s well connected and dropped them into another network, they’d migrate toward the center,” Christakis said. Your place in the network affects your happiness, in other words, but your happiness doesn’t affect your place in the network."

"Christakis and Fowler say social contagion could even help explain the existence of altruism: if we can pass on altruism to distant points in a network, it would help explain why altruistic people aren’t simply constantly taken advantage of by other members of their community. Last year, to test this theory, they conducted a laboratory experiment in which participants played a “cooperation game.” Each participant was asked to share a sum of money with a small group and could choose to be either generous or selfish. Christakis and Fowler found that if someone was on the receiving end of a generous exchange, that person would become more generous to the next set of partners — until the entire larger group was infected, as it were, with altruistic behavior, which meant the altruist would benefit indirectly."

“Even as we are being influenced by others, we can influence others,” Christakis told me when we first met. “And therefore the importance of taking actions that are beneficial to others is heightened. So this network thing can cut both ways, subverting our ability to have free will, but increasing, if you will, the importance of us having free will.”

"As Fowler pointed out, if you want to improve the world with your good behavior, math is on your side. For most of us, within three degrees we are connected to more than 1,000 people — all of whom we can theoretically help make healthier, fitter and happier just by our contagious example. “If someone tells you that you can influence 1,000 people,” Fowler said, “it changes your way of seeing the world.”

Your thoughts?

My sister Colette sent this to me. The woman's sentiments about how her mission made her wish that she had spent her life being less selfish really resonated with me. When I talk of my mission, I try to be honest about the fact that it was really, really hard. The world is harsh, but the exposure really softened me and made me wish that my life prior to that time had been less me-focused. It is a sentiment that I still carry strongly with me. I set all sorts of goals for doing loads of community service when I got back. This reminded me of the person the mission made me realize I wanted to be.

Why I Love Her....

Because she makes me feel great!!

Thanks Julianne.

31 Life Lessons

Well, today is 09/09/09, and you know what that means, tomorrow is my birthday, of course. Last year I considered writing 30 pieces of advice, but I thought that seemed patronizing, like I somehow knew all of the answers to life, but I don't, I assure you, but these are a few things that life has taught me.

(1) Most of the time, there are no substitutes for life experiences. You just have to go through it to understand. Life is not a spectator sport. Empathy and genuine compassion are bred by experience.

(2) Pushing through the hard times is critical for progression. Your life experiences will not change you if you do not persist through them. It is always tempting to quit, but don't.

(3) Know that in life, you will experience pleasure and pain, sickness and health, love and loneliness. Embrace all of them, because there is a purpose to all of it. Life will not always be full of pleasure, and life will not always be pain.

(4) Heavenly Father really does get it, he really does. There is a plan, and all the pieces fit far more perfectly than we can comprehend right now. Faith, faith, faith. It is a powerful thing. Choose to hang on, you won't regret it, at least, I haven't.

(5) Specific prayer is amazing. I think all people who know that God exists start here. But the trick is not to pray for what you want, but to ask him what He wants, and keep at it for a few weeks and follow the answers you get. This is faith, not a magic 8 ball or a genie, but spiritual work for which there is no substitute. The answers do come, even if you think you are too scientific to ever believe in such things. If He is, the truth will be discoverable.

(6) 'If you will, it is no fairly tale.' Theordore Herzl. I couldn't agree more. He was talking about the gathering of the Jews, but Heavenly Father, angels, spiritual promptings, answers to prayers, miracles, they are real, so very, very real. But if you don't have faith, it seems like a fairy tale, but it isn't.

(7) Effective communication is critical for fulfilling human relationships. It is a life skill well worth practicing.

(8) Do hard things, it is important to know that you can do it.

(9) The more you exercise self-control, the better you get at it.

(10) Education is more important than money. You can take it with you anywhere and its effects last longer. Developing critical thinking skills are well worth the investment.

(11) There is nothing romantic about being poor. I don't care what people say. Financial security is worth every ounce of self-control. It brings peace, harmony, freedom, and the power to dream and fulfill those dreams.

(12) With that said, there is something powerful and healthy for humans to work and honestly gain their income...and even if it wasn't about income, there is intrinsic value in work.

(13) The truth matters. Appearance is not reality.

(14) Living your values is about a kabillion times harder than talking about your values.

(15) Sleep is very, very important.

(16) In the end, balance is the key to happiness and it shifts depending on your life situation. Learning what the new balance when life changes is key.

(17) Take time to unwind after doing major things. Maybe this doesn't apply to anyone else, but it has really hit home for me this week. My past: I flew in from Thailand and New Zealand and in both instances went to work the next day. I used to take night trains from different parts of Europe and walk into class the next morning with my travel back pack on, unload and start taking notes. I flew home from Nantucket last month, dropped my bags off and went straight to work. I drove all night last week and went to work the next morning. Now I am drained, drained, drained. Take home lesson - take the time to unwind. Otherwise, you lose the balance, and it is not a good thing.

(18) Take time to smell the roses. This was my take home lesson from Paris that I struggle on a daily basis to apply. It was the happiest time of my life. I took 13 credits, normally I took 18 or more. My goal was to smell the roses everyday. It was AMAZING.

(19) Life is not black and white. There are a million shades of gray. To simplify it to black and white is to miss the nuances.

(20) Being able to effectively prioritize is critical to success.

(21) Reading scriptures daily is the best habit I ever set. I feel very strongly that everyone would benefit from making it a habit.

(22) Purity does matter. There is an integrity to it that is powerful.

(23) You have to have to give. This was one of my many take home lessons from law school. You have to have to give.

(24) I used to believe that we should always believe in the best in people...and most of the time that is true. But hey, everybody is different. Know that there will be exceptions here and there, but people are good.

(25) Everybody thinks they are good at heart. I have yet to find an exception, and I often work with prisoners.

(25) It is easy to be "mature" when you are not emotionally invested.

(26) Meet vulnerability with vulnerability.

(27) Good people are often not very charming at first, because they are sincere. They don't put on appearances so they can selfishly gain affection. But at the end of the day, they are worth their salt. When second guessed, they prove out.

(28) Have dreams.

(29) True love does what is really best for people. This is my mantra.

(30) In moments when you feel like maybe you are crazy or the only sane one on the planet, go with your gut. You are probably right.

(31) People have as much variety in their emotional build as they do in skin color. The sun might burn one person and tan another. Things might roll off one person's back that may devastate another. To expect everyone to be build the same, is simply not recognizing reality for what it is.

Well, there you have it. The accumulation of 31 years of life experience. And going back to number 1, all of these lessons of mine are pointlessly written, because experience is a much better teacher than a blog.

Star Party, Perseid Meteors, and Grubfest

Photo scource

My uncle David told me years ago that the best time to go star gazing was on August 10-13th. I have never forgotten. When I woke up August first I was ssssooo excited because it is time for my annual stargazing tradition. And of course, there was the star party.

The Museum of Science in St. Louis has an awesome star party on the first Friday of each month (except for November and December). You go into the planetarium, pick out a mat, lay on the floor, and learn about the night sky. If the sky is clear, you can go out and look through telescopes furnished by members of the St. Louis Astronomical Society. I LOVE it.

Tonight I got to see Jupiter and the craters on the moon through a variety of telescopes.

Next week (August 14th) we are having our third annual Grubfest. This year the stars will start shooting at 9 pm. Normally you have to wait until after midnight to see much. The moon will be bright, so you may only see 30 or so per hour. That is a real bummer, but hey, not every year can be as great as the one where we gazed at the stars in a bull field.

The reason star gazing is so great in August is because of the Perseid meteor showers. That was something I learned tonight. I never knew the name, just the time of year. Happy stargazing to all, and to all a good night.

For Laura, Before and After Take Two

Laura pointed out that my before and after pictures from design hop were spread a little too far apart, so here is a close version of the before and after. For me, the before and after is even more drastic...but I have no pictures. The first time I came to this house, I ate lunch on a flimsy card table in the kitchen with a window curtain doubling as a table cloth. That was literally it, besides a stack of foul smelling furniture stacked in the corner of the living room waiting to be thrown out.

When I moved in I brought these two student-style couches and the rocking chair. (I covered one couch in this orange cover to protect it from Max.)

JT and Ben removed the old stack of furniture from the living room when they helped move me in. (Thank you both so much!! AND thanks to Jason, Liza, Ben Allen, and Karen.)




Then Bret single handedly helped move this furniture in from St. Vincent de Paul. Little Max moved the couch cushions in like an ant moving a disproportionately large leaf. Watching him made me laugh.

The Debate is Solved

http://rodneysmith.com/blog/

I fell in love with the photo above a month or so ago. It is so artistically perfect. But the writing intrigued/troubled me. The statement, though beautiful, did not resonate as true with me. It has been a long-standing debate between me and a friend whether it is better to have loved and lost, or never loved at all. And here, the picture claims it is better to be married and divorced than to never have been married at all. I have always wanted to believe this, but I don't. It is a romantic notion that doesn't square with my life experience. It is stressful and damaging to experience loss.

I read a study today that solved the internal debate for me.

"...in terms of health, it’s not better to have married and lost than never to have married at all. Middle-age people who never married have fewer chronic health problems than those who were divorced or widowed."

"New research shows that when married people become single again, whether by divorce or a spouse’s death, they experience much more than an emotional loss. Often they suffer a decline in physical health from which they never fully recover, even if they remarry."

However, the article does point out that "[t]he health benefits of marriage [are] documented by a wealth of research."

I also found this fascinating:

"In a series of experiments, scientists at Ohio State studied the relationship between marital strife and immune response, as measured by the time it takes for a wound to heal. The researchers recruited married couples who submitted to a small suction device that left eight tiny blisters on the arm. The couples then engaged in different types of discussions — sometimes positive and supportive, at other times focused on a topic of conflict.

After a marital conflict, the wounds took a full day longer to heal. Among couples who exhibited high levels of hostility, the wound healing took two days longer than with those who showed less animosity."

See here for NY Times Link.

A link to the University of Chicago Study is here.

[Take home message, choose careful whom you marry. When you marry don't have acrimonious fights. Guard carefully the health of your loved one....if not out of altruistic love for their health, than for the sake of your own health! :)]

Before and After; Thank You Design Hop

I live in a lovely house....



That just didn't seem quite complete.



So I called Dana the Designer. Dana runs the "Design Hop" Enrichment Group in my old Relief Society.

And come they did.



And painted...





And designed...



And sewed...



And organized....



And when it was done....





It looked lovely...

The curtains are especially great because they figured out the design and sewed the curtains while they were here.



As you can see from the before and after, they did an FANTASTIC job. They did all of this in just a few hours. Talk about synergy. Many great thanks.

Apparently, We Weren't the Only Ones Who Loved It

See here.

(As an aside, I LOVE the official google blog. Seriously, they are a brilliant company. Very innovative. They can track epidemics and the common flu based on the spikes in the volumes of searches people conduct. Before "talk like a pirate day" they noticed the ever growing annual spike in searches for 'pirate talk'. After the vice presidential debates, they posted entries about the trends of google searches for words such as "maverick" etc. They are constantly coming up with new programs like...exploring the moon...I am such a fan of constant innovation.)

Now This is How it Should Be Done

See here.

Snippets of My Life

I really enjoy following blogs. I follow many of people I have never met. Sometimes I am genuinely disappointed when they don't post...especially the blogs I really enjoy. It makes me wonder if there are people out there who love mine too. I doubt it, but just in case, I'd hate to disappoint.

Life here has been...busy. I've been up researching till almost midnight for a good portion of this past week. My roommate keeps telling me I need to find my balance. I haven't even been a lawyer for a year yet, so I am still trying to figure it out.

Life with Max is as fun as ever. This morning a little knock came at my bedroom door.

"Breakfast is ready." He told me excitedly.

"Do you want me to repeat it in Spanish?" He considerately asked as I slowly opened my eyes and groggily said yes. He then repeated the message in Spanish for me. (I am trying to learn Spanish, so I've asked him to repeat things in Spanish for me, which he doesn't really like to do, but did here just to be nice.) He is so cute!

Last night he was just adorable. He was so excited all day because my friend David was coming over for an early dinner. Well, this old house has plenty of quirks, one of which is that the metal door knob on the front door promptly falls off every time the door slams shut. My roommate and I just laugh every time it falls off, because we forget about it until the sound of the metal knob falling on brick steps reminds us that it is still there.

Well, David was kind enough to fix it and Max just had to help. Then David fixed the leaky faucet in the upstairs bathroom, and again Max just had to help. He wiggled up between David and the sink so he could really get in on the action. I couldn't help but take pictures of them. Tell me this isn't adorable.

And You Wonder What the Point of Blogging Is....

Clearly it is fame and fortune.











(Maybe I should start blogging about my job.)

Outward Expressions of Inward Commitments

While serving my mission, the line from the sacrament prayer which says,

"and witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son, and always remember him, and keep his commandments which he hath given them..."

suddenly had a deeper meaning for me. Though I had heard the prayer literally hundreds of times already, the meaning of it finally begin to sink in.

I began to realize that the act of taking the sacrament every week was telling Heavenly Father that I was willing to take Christ's name upon me, and live in accordance with His commandments. As a result, in the silence of the sacrament meeting, I now often find my thoughts turning to the past week and asking myself, did I follow the commandments? Did I read my scriptures? Did I pray? Was I kind? etc. Sometimes I feel my week went well, sometimes not. But either way, I then find myself reflecting on the upcoming week. What do I need to change? How can I do better? Are there things I need to be more cognizant of?

Today, during the sacrament, I bowed my head and closed my eyes as I privately reflected. I silently asked the Lord to help me that my life can conform to His will and to let me know of the things that I am not aware of that I need to change. My stream of consciousness ran from a reflection on the difference between Heavenly Father's mode of operation, which teaches us of His way, and then allows us to choose for ourselves which path we will choose...to what a contrast this is to the power and control behavior evidenced by abusive people...that pattern of behavior strives to compel others to conform with their will, and it often takes away the choice of others...I love the Lord's way, although often I wonder, given how important it is that we are good in this life, that he is not just a bit more compelling...but I recognize that even righteous ends via unrighteous means, are still not righteous...

I was somewhat startled out of my thoughts by the loud voice of a speaker marking the end of the administration of the sacrament. I opened my eyes to see two little, twin African-American boys, peering over the top of their bench at me. They then turned around, consulted one another, and both folded their arms, closed their eyes, and fervently bowed their heads in the same manner I had been. I was trying not to laugh when I realized they were copying me.

I suppose I shouldn't have been too surprised at the high counselman's announcement that the topic of his talk was on how our covenants are an outward symbol of our inward commitments.

My Evening with Max

We walked in hand and hand, Max and I. There were no strange looks, or hushed whispers.

"I warned them before you came." Jason told me amid the din of the restaurant. "I told them that you'd moved in with a guy, and you were bringing him with you."

"Thank you." I replied. It spares the awkwardness.

Later that night Paul (my ex-fiancee) told me, "When Jason told me, I couldn't believe it. I mean, it was only three weeks ago when we went out to ice cream, and you never mentioned anything about it."

Well, it is true, in case you haven't already heard. I moved recently and Max is one of my new roommates. These blurry pictures gives you a vague picture of what our abode looks like.



One half of the living room.



Suz and I in the dining room enjoying cucumber water and a Mexican dinner.

-------------
My car was idling at a red light as we were on our way to Jason's birthday party when someone honked.

"What is going on?" Max piped in from his car seat in the back.

"I don't know." I replied honestly.

"I was not asking you." Max informed me in a matter-of-fact manner. "I was talking to myself." As if asking yourself a question out loud were the most normal thing ever...

----

We pulled up to Annie's apartment building. Max is immediately mesmorized by the water fountain.

"This is Anne's place." I explained to Max.

"Wow, she has a really big house." Max exclaimed.

"Oh, Max, this is an apartment building." I clarified.

"What is that?" He asked, because he lives in a house, and has always lived in a house.

"Well, everyone lives in different sections of the building." This was an utterly new concept to Max. I could see him trying to wrap his head around it.

On the way home, Max asked me all about words that only have three letters, because those are easy to spell, or so he says. Then he wanted to know how to spell transformers.

When I parked my car in front of our house, I took his hand to cross the street. His tiny hand grabbed mine, and the other clutched his precious, new transformer.

Me n' Max

(Please don't mistake the bright pink apron as a sign that I can cook now; I still can't.)

Studette of the Month - June 2009

First of all, we call her K.L.E.B., short for 'Kristi Loves Everybody'. And she does.

There are some friends in life that are such a part of your existence, that you have to wonder if you are friends just because life put you together.

Kristi and I decided we were best friends when we were Sunbeams in Primary; we were three years old. It only made sense right? We lived in the same city only minutes from each other. We went to the same church. We are both the oldest girls in our family. Our two little sisters are exactly the same age. We worked at the same place in high school. We attended the same seminary. We attended the same proms. We shared the same friends. We were in the same gym class. We are both equally uncoordinated.

With so much commonality, I used to wonder if we were just situational friends.

But she loves Disney, boardgames, Boston and 'The Boys'. She loves pop-culture, shopping, penguins, Princess Dianna, and scrap booking. I love literature, architecture, the outdoors, camping, world travel, and running. Her blog is dedicated to Disney, mine is dedicated to deep, ponderous thoughts.

But situational friendships don't last 30 years.

Situational friends forget you once the situation ends. Kristi called me every week my first year of college...EVERY WEEK, pre-cellphone era, on her own accord, when we had to pay dearly for long distance. She remembers my birthday every year, even though I haven't been home for a birthday since I was 17. She used to send me care packages from New Hampshire containing pieces of New Hampshire that I might be missing (like a sand dollar...because she knew I missed the beach). She was at the airport when I came home from my mission AND she wrote me while I was gone. A visit home necessarily includes a visit with Kristi; there has never been an exception. Because that would defy the unspoken K.L.E.B. code. She has forgiven me for my stupid humanness repeatedly (keep in mind that we were friends through junior high and high school) because of her K.L.E.B. nature. She has seen all my vices and loves me anyway. She gives without the expectation of return.

I used to think that K.L.E.B.'s were normal and could be discovered in abundance. But I've discovered that a true K.L.E.B. is a rarity. I am grateful that I got one...my very own K.L.E.B.

Even Though

Life is beautiful. I believe that. I believe that even though I don't have air conditioning in 90 degree weather. I believed that when I was spending 12 hour days studying for the bar. I believe that even though...even though there are a lot of even though's in my life.

Tonight my housemate comments, "Chantal, for the last two nights I have heard the voice of a man. He calls my name."

I begin to freak out. "What? From outside the window? A man is calling your name from outside the window!!"

"No, inside the house. He calls my name."

I should interject here that my roommate speaks much better English than I speak Spanish, but there is still a significant language barrier. I should also point out that her room is RIGHT ACROSS THE HALL FROM ME.

Resuming the story: I continue freaking out. "You hear the audible voice of a man, inside our house, at night, calling your name?!"

She begins to see that I am not understanding fully what she is trying to express. Her voice becomes hushed.

"No, it is not like that. I feel good. It is a voice and he tells me that he is aware of me, and he is watching over me. I feel so good after, so peaceful that I can sleep the rest of the night."

Sleeping at all is somewhat of a miracle in this 90 degree weather, but slowly I begin to understand the full import what she is saying. He knows her by name. He is watching over her. He has not forgotten her, even though...even though there are a lot of even though's right now.

A Tribute to Men and Boys on Fathers' Day

Normally on Father's Day I would talk about my dad, but I did that last year. If you want to read it see here. Instead, I would like to express my appreciation to guys in general.

In my life, guys have always been somewhere in the picture. I was born between two brothers, and I loved it. I LOVE my sisters, but I was so glad to grow up with the boys. We didn't sit around fussing about our hair and shopping, we played. I grew to appreciate early on the playfulness of guys, thanks to my brothers. We made forts with the furniture, went sledding in crazy places, built towers in the back yard and explored the woods. My high school years were spent hiking, canoeing, running, cross country skiing and rollerblading thanks to my brothers and guy friends.

I love the way guys always skip rocks by the water. I love the way old men always have to crack a joke. I love the sense of adventure that isn't matched in us female counterparts.

I love helpfulness in guys. To my dad who supported me when I was training for a marathon by biking behind me for 14 MILES, VOLUNTARILY so he could give me water and whatever else I needed while I was running. To my little brother who never thought twice when it came to helping me scrub my car our after long road trips. To my older brother who drove hours just so he could spend a few hours with me when I was home one year. To the countless guy friends who have helped me move over the years, or patch my roof, put up dry wall, put trim up, replace car tires, or fix a shattered car window.

I love being a woman. I do. But I am grateful for men, all of the men who have added so greatly to the quality of my life. Thank you for your playfulness, humor, responsibility, help and friendship.

Some Sisters....Some Dancing....

Studette of the Month - May 2009

Mom, Colette and Ginette outside the Boston Temple

Of course, this month's Studette of the Month is my mother, although it comes a little late. A few things:

(1) I love, and have always loved talking to my mom. She is a good conversationalist, and even as a little girl, I enjoyed conversing with her.

(2) Mom is a woman of great depth. She understands things to a deeper level than I do, and I have learned to trust her judgment and viewpoints.

(3) She is a woman of great virtue. I have really never met anyone as virtuous as my mother. Ever. I am quite certain that I never will.

(4) My mother adores my dad, and genuinely loves and respects him. I always enjoyed being the child of two parents who genuinely love each other. And I especially loved having a mother who respected my father. I never grew up hearing disparaging things about men, which I greatly appreciated.

(5) My mother is unusually genuine. There are no false pretenses with mom, in any way. She is incredibly honest. If there was any error in her honesty, it would only be tempered by her humility. If anything, she puts her worst foot forward. She does not substitute appearances for what really is. I have grown to love this more, and more, and more with life experience. She is as real as they come. On the flip side, she appreciates genuineness from others.

(6) My mother is incredibly good. I could always feel this growing up. I think we all could. She is just a very good spirit. Though she is not flashy, or trendy, or brilliant, she is exceptionally good.

(7) Mom is confident. Mom has a quiet confidence that is utterly refreshing. She was never really prone to self-esteem issues. I think part of this is that being as good as she is, deep down she has confidence in this. Though she was painfully shy as a child, she always believed that when people would get to know her, that they would love her. I would wish this confidence on the whole world.

(8) Mom is intelligent and wise. She always insisted that we talk like we are educated. There was to be no use of the word "ma" or "ain't" or improper grammar. She still corrects my English. Mom reads a lot of books, which means that her critical thinking skills are well developed. I love going home and seeing which books she has been reading lately. Depending on the review she gives, I steal them till I've finished them, and she does the same for me.

(9) Mom walks the walk. There is NOTHING hypocritical about my mother. She doesn't expect anything of anyone that she doesn't do herself. If she expects you to be honest, she is. If she expects you to be a quiet giver, she is. If she expects you to exercise from the age 40 on, she does. Her integrity is among the very best I've ever seen.

(10) She is happy. Mom always used to say, "Chantal, if you are good, you will miss out on some of the fun. You will. But you will find that you will be happy." I have found that she was right, and that happiness is wholesome, and priceless.

Psalms 31:10-31

The Coffee Shop View of You

I grabbed my backpack, slammed my car door, and crossed the street in a hurry. I was late. 1307, my destination was supposed to be on the corner, but the closer I got to the corner, the more obvious it became that I had parked nowhere near my destination. I finished scanning the street numbers on the apartment buildings and realized that I would need to cross the busy street just in front of me.

Just as this realization hit, the apartment buildings suddenly turned into a coffee shop, and facing me was a man sitting behind his coffee shop table, book in hand, sipping his coffee.

I lived in Paris. I know why people really go to coffee shops. It has nothing to do with sipping coffee or reading books. It has everything to do with watching people. You make up their stories and try to figure out what you can about a person in the few seconds that they pass in front of you.

I suddenly became aware that my feelings of frustration were written all over my face. I could tell by his expression that he saw my predicament and was amused by it.

But I was late. I hurried on.

Later that evening as I strolled back to my car, I passed the coffee shop again. I began to wonder, what kind of story does a man sipping his coffee in a coffee shop make of me?

Lets look at his view. My hair is pulled back in a ponytail. I am wearing jeans, black shoes, a dark grey shirt, and a light grey zip-up hoodie. The hoodie is zipped up too high to be cool. Under my right arm I clutch a worn teal backpack that has more than a few items in it. The bag is not zipped shut. I am walking fast, and clearly perplexed that the street number I am looking for was not there.

I think my real story is as good as any story he could have made up about me.

I am in a hurry in part because I am chronically late and I always get lost my first, second, and third time anywhere.

I am on my way to a friend's house to babysit. (I met my friend mostly through a running group because I love running and I'd been praying for a running group near my residence.) I was supposed to be at her place at 7:30, it is now 7:40ish and I just discovered that I am a block away meaning I'll be 15ish minutes late.

If he was a really good coffee shop observer perhaps he would have realized that the tattered backpack is of the LL Bean sort. Generally a brand that easterners use. Significant because it is part of my story. I am a New Hampshire native.

The worn state of the backpack also speaks volumes. It survived four years of high school, four years of college, and three years of law school before the zipper gave out. I have it tucked under my arm because this veteran of my schooling doesn't stay shut on its own anymore.

The backpack is telling of more than just my origin. It tells of my compulsive need to be constructive, like any good type-A person. The children will be sleeping. The things I fill my hours of free time with are the contents of my backpack. Would the observer have guessed that it contains an Ayn Rand book, my journal, my scriptures, a print out of the teacher's manual of this weeks Sunday school lesson, and a Spanish text book? Ayn Rand because I believe in altruism and every time I defend it, someone brings up Ayn Rand. She didn't believe in altruism. I am still finishing her book.

The clothes I am wearing are a quick change out of work clothes. My jeans are a gift from my sister last time I visited her in Provo. She no longer lives in Provo. The origins of my shirt are unknown, but the hoodie I bought with Wendy in Salt Lake when we used to go shopping together on lunch breaks. The shoes are ones I bought for my mission in France and still love to wear.

'Why is this easterner in the mid-west?' he might curiously wonder. Because I came here for school and because of my love for warm weather, old architecture, economic diversity, places with character, and non-grid system cities.

Somehow I doubt that was his conclusion. But that is my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Randomness

Do you ever want to blog, but you don't have anything to say? That may make this the most random and pointless blog entry ever, but I am going to blog anyway. One of my favorite blog entries ever was by my friend Julianne when she just blogged because she felt like blogging.

Updates:

(1) I LOVE (underscore, underscore) my job lately. I am working on some cases that I really care about...and I love my clients...and I really, really appreciate the maturity of the people I work for. They are people that I silently appreciate and they inspire me to want to be better.

(2) I trained for a 1/2 marathon, but didn't run the race. I thought I would really regret not running the race, but I think it worked out for the best. It would have enjoyed running with my running buddies though. I have really enjoyed getting to know them in the process of training. We come from two different wards...there are two nurses, one graphic designer, one concert pianist, two lawyers...six are stay at home moms and me!



(3) Blog drama - who knew it even existed. I've had three incidences of blog drama in the past two weeks. Every bit of friction is a chance to learn and grow. So while I don't like blog drama, it does force growth...so I'm hoping anyway. I've still got plenty o' room to grow.

(4) I really love facebook. I really do. Recently, I have LOVED reconnecting with friends from my last mission area in France. One of my very close old friends added me. After touching base with her for the first time in three years, I found myself crying the entire drive to work just thinking about her (which PS is a 1/2 hour drive)...The last time we spoke on the phone we were cut off mid-conversation and I was never able to connect with her again. Just looking at her pictures I could tell exactly how life is going. No need for explanations. I haven't seen her in so many years.

With some friends, words are unnecessary and time spent apart is irrelevant....and there is something amazing about a friendship with a French person. They care deeply and I love them for it. It is so easy to lose sight of how much people meant to you, or you to them...how powerful and amazing those friendships were and are. Facebook is a medium that consistently reminds me of that.

(5) O'k those are my random thoughts. And now I am going to bed.

Studs of the Month: April 1, 2009

Derryl Yeager (l), an extremely talented dancer/choreographer and Michael Ballam, opera singer and performing artist extraordinaire share a moment together at Tuacahn near St. George, Utah. (Both do a little acting on the side.)

Photograph by Scot F. Proctor
Copyright 2001 Scot F. Proctor

Michael Ballam

Michael Ballam has had an operatic and recital career spanning four decades and six continents. A native of Logan, Utah, Dr. Ballam has performed in the major concert halls of America, Europe, Asia, Russia and the Middle East, with command performances at the Vatican and the White house. His operatic repertoire includes more than 600 performances of over 70 major roles. He has shared the stage with the world's greatest singers including Joan Sutherland, Kiri Te Kanawa, Birgit Nilsson, Beverly Sills, Placido Domingo,and has performed regularly with critical acclaim in some of the most important concert halls and companies in the country including the Chicago Lyric, San Francisco, Santa Fe, Dallas, Washington, Philadelphia, St. Louis, and San Diego Operas.

At age 24, Dr. Ballam became the youngest recipient of the degree of Doctor of Music with Distinction in the history of the prestigious Indiana University. A Professor of Music at Utah State University, he is the author of over 40 publications and recordings in international distribution, has a weekly radio program on Utah Public Radio, starred in 3 major motion pictures, appears regularly on television, and serves on the Board of Directors of twelve professional Arts organizations, and is an accomplished pianist and oboist.

Dr. Ballam currently serves as the General Director of the Utah Festival Opera, a company he founded in 1993. It has become one of the nation's major summer festivals with growing national critical acclaim. It was recently ranked as one of the world's top 20 summer opera festivals by "Money Magazine."


Derryl Yeager
Latter-day Saint. Education: MFA, University of Utah. Dancer and choreographer. Former member of Ballet West. Currently the artistic director of Odyssey Dance Theatre. Has had minor film roles. Played a dancer in the movie "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" (1985). Had larger roles as a coach in the TV movies "Whose Daughter Is She?" (1995) and as the historic Alexander Hamilton in the PBS vilm "A More Perfect Union: American Becomes A Nation" (1989). Along with Nicholas J. Gasdik, Yeager developed a deal with Del Rey and Fresco Pictures to adapt Orson Scott Card's romantic fantasy novel Enchantment to film, although this project is far from being actualized. One of the artists featured in the PBS series "Artists in Zion." Bio from "Artists in Zion" website (http://www.zionartwork.com/artists/yeager.html):

As a professional dancer for over two decades Derryl Yeager has had experience in evey style and medium. Originally from Amarillo, Texas, he came to the University of Utah and received his BFA and MFA while becoming a principle dancer with Ballet West. He then went on to perform in several Broadway Shows such as Aof five children is a testament to the depth of his talent and abilities.

As a choreographer he has also worked in every style and medium by choreographing music videos for such stars as Stevie Nicks and Julio Iglesias, numerous successful and crowd pleasing ballets for professional and semi-professional ballet companies, Equity Theatre musicals such as Pippin and South Pacific, and several film and television projects that has included the major television miniseries The Stand by Stephen King. He also has choreographed for the Utah Shakespeare Festival and at Tuacahn near St. George.

As director and teacher he has been on the faculty at two major universities and was Artistic Director of the Theatre Ballet at Brigham Young University for two years. As Co-Artistic Director of Center Stage Performing Arts Studios in Orem, he has helped develop one of the finest dance studios in the state of Utah.

With Odyssey Dance Theatre, Mr. Yeager brings all of his experience and talent to bear to create a truly exciting and innovative company that produces works that range from the timely to the timeless. Odyssey Dance Theatre has been a hit in Utah around the United States and in Europe.




Click here and here and for sources.