Stud of the Month - July 2008

I got off the phone with Andrea and that feeling of peace and rightness settled over me. I was final, I will be going to Nashville in a few weeks to watch Jake and his fiancee Mandy be sealed in the temple. It was then that I knew that Jake is July's Stud of the Month.

Before I left for college my freshman year my father gave us our traditional father's blessings. This one was unique in that it told me that I would make friends this coming year that I would keep for the rest of my life. It struck me that (1) the Lord knew already who I would bond with and (2) that I had it in me, and they had it in them to make our friendships work for the rest of my mortal life and that (3) He knew far enough in advance to know how our life paths would intertwine. These things fascinated me.

When I got to college I did make those friends. It has been 11 years and the majority of us are still friends. We are all from all over the country and we have worked together, lived together, traveled across the country to attend each others mission farewells, sealings, and just to visit one anther. None of us have ever remained stagnant, or even in the same state(sometimes country) for more than a few years at a time but through all of this we have remained friends.

Jake is one of those friends. When several of us lived in Salt Lake, and Jake was off to graduate school, he'd drive all the way from Colorado when he was visiting his parents to come say hi to us. There was never much denying that he cared, his sacrifice to come see us showed it.

My favorite aspect of my friendship with Jake is seeing how the hand of the Lord works in both of our lives. After I bought the house in Salt Lake I spent many hours peeling off the old boarders in the bedrooms before they were repainted. On one long arduous day I called Jake to talk while I worked. He had just been called to the Stake Young Men's presidency and was just in utter awe of how everything in his life was falling into place just as he'd always been told it would...in the same way he always deep down knew it would. I've often had similar feelings and miracles in my life. Being able to share this with him has always been so edifying. I always hang up with the reassurance that the Lord watches over us.

In honor of his upcoming wedding, Jake is July 2008 Stud of the Month.

Stud of the Month - June 2008 - Dad

Well, this month's stud of the month is, naturally, my dad. If you didn't remember that Father's Day is in the month of June, I'll take this opportunity to point it out FATHER'S DAY IS SUNDAY!!

With that said, I want to take a minute to talk about my dad. Well, what can I say, I've known him for my entire life, but he has only known me for less than half of his. It is a strange phenomenon, I know, but it is what it is.

My dad is a quiet man, certainly in temperament we are almost nothing alike. But, for as much as our natures aren't similar, we definitely look alike. If you've never met my dad, it is probably a little hard to imagine so I've added some visuals.





Indeed, the resemblance is almost striking. But beyond praising his good looks and quiet demeanor, I want to discuss what really makes him the June Stud of the Month.

I think the happiness of a man's wife is highly indicative of his quality of character and person. Now, one may very successfully contend that my mother is an incredibly contented person by nature, and that is why she is so happily married. But I've seen her get really frustrated with me and my other siblings so I don't know that the argument holds much water. She is happy, in large part, because my dad loves her. I deeply appreciate how happy he has made my mother's life. While I was on my mission, my mother had a large responsibility she really didn't enjoy. She had to put on an activity that was not easy for her to do. But, in her letter to me of the event, she described how my father, without ever being asked, took care of all the details that she didn't have time to tend to; everything turned out smoothly. His help meant the world to her. This is a pretty typical example of how he is.

My father has a great love for the truth. When he finds it he lives by it. Next to how well he treats my mother, this is the thing I love about him the most. Truth, he feels, can be secure, because it is truth. My father grew up wanting to be a Catholic priest. He investigated the Church of Jesus Christ to prove it wrong. He genuinely investigated it and upon discovering that it was true, he lived it. On my mission I came to admire his integrity. There are many who know the truth but choose not to live according to it. It takes strength of character and I deeply love that quality in him. He is a man of integrity. He walks the walk.

On a deeper level, he is not afraid of untruth. Because of this I have 10 years of Catholic school education behind me. He believes in learning by contrast so he purposefully sent me to be educated at a place with a somewhat different philosophy than the one he was teaching me at home. My life under his upbringing was designed to cause me to question. He is not afraid of questioning the truth. I was never hushed in my incessant questioning. I was allowed, in fact, encouraged in it. As I've gotten older I have come to realize more and more the value of this approach. Truth will prove itself. My father's confidence in it allowed him not to be afraid of untruth and allowed me to explore and discover it as well.

Lastly, he influences me even still. Law school has not been a breeze for me and putting the Lord first has not been easy. There have been times when it would have been so much easier just to completely focus on school. One time I called home when I had so much to do. I was on my way to a religion class, but had been torn over how I would find the time to finish everything else I had to do. My father answered and quietly said, "Chantal, if you put the Lord first, everything else in life will stay in check. Your greed, pride, vanity, etc. will not get the better of you." That seemed to be precisely what I needed to hear. I was thirsty to know why it was important that I keep on going. My own selfish desire to do well in school was my current temptation, but later it could be a thirst for acclaim, greed, and any number of other forms of selfishness. I needed to learn to keep my priorities straight. Here were my training grounds.

True greatness doesn't need acclaim; it quietly is. My dad is, more often than not, behind the scenes. He prefers it this way. But for those of us who have gotten to know him, he is quality, and loved for it.

Quote of the Day

You should respond generously to those instincts and promptings to do good. Hold your soul very still, and listen to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit. Follow the noble, intuitive feelings planted deep within your souls by Deity in the previous world. In this way you will be responding to the Holy Spirit of God and will be sanctified by truth. By so doing, you will be eternally honored and loved. Much of your work is to enrich mankind with your great capacity for care and mercy.

How Near to the Angels
James E. Faust
New Era March 1999

Eerie Noises and the Darkened Sky

When I first came to St. Louis I really thought it might be my time to die. The cloud-filled sky was ominously dark and the rain poured down so hard it seemed as if I were driving through a waterfall. The lightning and thunder were startlingly close. Realizing that I was, for the first time in my life, in tornado country I became a little worried. My mother, however, has a fascination with natural phenomena, tornadoes included. I suddenly remembered her saying that when tornadoes hit the sky has a greenish hue and tornadoes sound like a freight train driving by. As I could hear nothing but pouring rain and the black sky contained no hint of green, my worry subsided and I arrived safely in St. Louis.

Fast forward about three years, it seems to be tornado season around here again. Last week while walking to my car I heard some sirens go off. Thinking it was probably the city testing their safety system in the same way they test the bomb sirens in France, I inquired of the guy standing next to me at the stop light. (I think he is a St. Louis native.) He assured me that there had probably been a recent tornado sighting and that was why the sirens were going off. On my way home, the radio informed me that there had been a sighting pretty close to where I was headed for my afternoon meeting. I wasn't worried though since the sky wasn't green and I didn't hear any freight trains.

But today for some reason, I do feel somewhat worried. The tornado sirens were on just a few minutes ago. It is pouring, raining, thundering and this time the sky has an eerie hue of green. I live right next to the on ramp of the highway so every passing truck bears resemblance to a freight train noise. I am suddenly concerned about the grungy state of our basement...definitely not something I consider every day. But, the cars whoosh on by as if nothing is wrong and the sirens stopped so everything will be just fine once again.

One thing is for sure, I am having a 'you know you live in the mid-west when' moment!

Photo taken at the tornado display at the St. Louis Science Museum

Bar Class Update

Mark T. is a law school friend of mine (mentioned previously). He is married and the proud father of six children. I sit next to him in my bar class. He has had a singular goal to help me get married. His plan of attack: point out otherwise missed opportunities.

Mark: So, what did you do last night?

Me: Study.

Mark: You've got to give that up and meet some guys.



Later that day...

Me: [Just finished chatting with the girl who sits next to me in my bar class.]

Mark: Chantal, did you just make a new friend?

Me: Yes, I did.

Mark: Now you've got to learn to do that with guys.


A day later

Me: [Sit down for lecture after chatting with my law school friend Mr. H.]

Mark: Chantal, he seems pretty nice.

Me: He is really nice.

Mark: What about him?

Me: Mark, he is married.

Mark: Yeah, that won't work.


Later that day...

Me: [Walking to my car after class.]

Mark: [Speeds by on his bike.] Chantal, you should have stayed after class and flirted with some guys!!

Who knew there were so many missed opportunities.

Who Are We?

I remember as a child listening to my parents speak. They were having a conversation about self-esteem and its relation to being children of God. My parents are both converts so I think the sayings that often become trite to those of us who grow up with songs such as "I am a Child of God" are ones that are incredibly meaningful to them. The conclusion of their conversation was - if people really understood what it means to be a child of God, then they wouldn't have self-esteem problems.

I remember thinking, as I often did, that my parents sort of live on a different level than the rest of us. They understand things to a more profound level, or at least, that was and is my observation. I suppose that mostly this really stuck to me because I didn't feel like I had a great hold on this self-esteem thing, so did that mean that I didn't fully comprehend what it is to be a child of God? My conclusion of course was yes. I still don't think I understand it to the level that they do.

About three years ago I was a Sunday School teacher. We were studying the Old Testament and my lesson largely revolved around Noah. I was studying one day when I had the prompting that I should start working on my lesson. As I did so much of my understanding regarding the greatness of Noah was opened up to me. His ancestors anticipated him. He was prophesied of before he was born. He was one of the great and noble spirits in the pre-mortal life.

I think the scripture that really hit me the most was Doctrine and Covenants 138 (verse 41 in regards to Noah). Here, President Joseph F. Smith had a vision of Christ and what he did during the three days before he was resurrected. He taught and trained those who had lived faithful lives about the redemption of the dead. But the thing that really struck me was the fact that Joseph Smith and Brigham Young were among those spirits. But they weren't born yet. I wondered, when they were children, did they know of their own value? Did they know that before they were born they had been taught by Christ himself? Which caused me to wonder - do we have any idea who we are?

It took Brigham Young several years to convert to the gospel. It wasn't like he just had a vision and he converted. I am sure he pondered and agonized over this decision. But the Lord knew him. He understands how we tick, how we think, how we reason, but futhermore, how we are. But I can only imagine Brigham Young's surprise when he later comprehended his own role in the Church to realize that beyond his own comprehension of himself, the Lord understood him.

Which I guess leads me to some of my friends. In multiple situations I've watched friends agonize over life's decisions. And a lot of times I'll listen and listen. Many times I know they know what the correct path is for them. But more fundamentally, I know them. I know they are good people. And some how I know that at the end of the day, they will not betray their own gut feelings. There have been occasions where I have told them so. 'I know you, I know you are a good person. I know there will be a lot of agonizing between now and then but you'll turn out all right.' Inevitably, they do. But sometimes it takes years for them to get there.

And as my friend Katie and I often discuss, so much of what we are right now is just a snippet of what we are. Even Christ's time here on earth is just a small picture of who he is. I think it is the same for us. Where were we eons before we came to earth? What gives rise to those feelings deep inside us about the path we should take or even about who we are? What lies ahead of us after we pass on? There is sooooo much more to us than meets the eye - even our own eye, despite the fact that we live with ourselves 24/7.

My brother and I were discussing the other day that as we live closer to the Spirit, self-esteem seems to naturally follow. So many of my close friends have admitted that often time their self-esteem came through feeling the love that Heavenly Father has for them through the power of the Holy Ghost. This seems in perfect harmony with the scriptures and watching Joseph Smith's shock that Heavenly Father knew his name, or watching Moses come to the realization that the Lord esteemed him as one like unto Christ.

In conclusion, we have only a small idea who we are. But I think that all of us are amazing people and that this is what the Lord is aware of even beyond our own comprehension of it. I think if we even understood ourselves beyond this mortal snippet, we'd be shocked.

Stud of the Month - May 2008

I know, I know. You are all thinking - did you decide on the Stud of the Month based on their penchant for orange peelers? While that may be a criteria one of these months, it isn't this month.

You may also be asking yourself, is it based stylish dressing? Certainly no one pulls off Hawaiian Shirt Day like Richard does. But alas, that wasn't this month's criteria either.

It can safely be said that few people think outside the box like Captain RRRRRRichard does. I don't know many people who, in a corporate environment, would think to send out e-mails framed as a dialog between Batman and Robin just to get his co-workers to read the newsletters AND get away with it. It isn't everyday you make a friend who will show up, unannounced at your door step, to invite you to go fly kites simply because it is a perfect day to fly them. Most people would wouldn't ever think of bringing their own plate to a social gathering because they decided to be more aware of the environment. Though he certainly dominates the department of original thought, that was not a criteria either.

Indeed, none of those things are what made Richard Stud of the Month. I recently got a phone call from a friend of mine, one I really care about but I rarely have the time for. In the course of our conversation she couldn't help but mention how great Richard is; how many times he has helped her. As she explained all he had done for her, I realized that she probably has no idea just how far Richard lives from her, or how incredibly busy he is, or how many things he keeps balanced on his plate. I am sure she has no idea what it took for him to be so helpful to her.

You see, this is not an isolated event for Richard. He was my home teacher for a long time. I grew to really appreciate his friendship and his help. My old Elders Quorum President asked for feedback from all of the sisters about their home teachers a few months ago. This is a slightly edited portion of what I wrote about him:

And funny you should ask because just Sunday I was thinking of how great my home teacher is....He has been a huge help over the years. A year and a half ago he was my home teacher when I needed to register my car. It may seem stupid but I was stressed about it. He had just registered his and walked me through where I should go, how to get the emissions tests and everything else done. I really appreciated that. Recently my car was having issues and I was really concerned. I told him and he came over and identified the problem. Again, a really small thing, but it was a stressor in my life and his help was most appreciated....I guess that I appreciate that they is able to help me with the concrete problems I am having. I love that I don't feel dumb asking them for what I need.

In comparison to past experiences, I love that I don't have to go find them and convince them to come visit me. I am a little proactive about getting taught sometimes. Furthermore, I am totally fine with getting visited at church or with others. My home teachers insist on coming to my house and dressed up....I don't think about it much, but I do think those subtle things sort of take the lead in getting me to realize the importance of being visited. But really, it isn't the spiritual lesson that I appreciate or even need the most, it is practical help and the friendship that comes with the visit.

All of this may be compounded by the fact that I have no idea who my new home teachers are, or if I have any (and I don't mean that as a criticism because I am well aware of how much work it is to organize these things.) But, not to worry, even after I changed wards he called just to make sure things were going o'k. He and his girlfriend stopped by the other week just to say hi. I only wish I had been home to visit with them.