Even Though

Life is beautiful. I believe that. I believe that even though I don't have air conditioning in 90 degree weather. I believed that when I was spending 12 hour days studying for the bar. I believe that even though...even though there are a lot of even though's in my life.

Tonight my housemate comments, "Chantal, for the last two nights I have heard the voice of a man. He calls my name."

I begin to freak out. "What? From outside the window? A man is calling your name from outside the window!!"

"No, inside the house. He calls my name."

I should interject here that my roommate speaks much better English than I speak Spanish, but there is still a significant language barrier. I should also point out that her room is RIGHT ACROSS THE HALL FROM ME.

Resuming the story: I continue freaking out. "You hear the audible voice of a man, inside our house, at night, calling your name?!"

She begins to see that I am not understanding fully what she is trying to express. Her voice becomes hushed.

"No, it is not like that. I feel good. It is a voice and he tells me that he is aware of me, and he is watching over me. I feel so good after, so peaceful that I can sleep the rest of the night."

Sleeping at all is somewhat of a miracle in this 90 degree weather, but slowly I begin to understand the full import what she is saying. He knows her by name. He is watching over her. He has not forgotten her, even though...even though there are a lot of even though's right now.

A Tribute to Men and Boys on Fathers' Day

Normally on Father's Day I would talk about my dad, but I did that last year. If you want to read it see here. Instead, I would like to express my appreciation to guys in general.

In my life, guys have always been somewhere in the picture. I was born between two brothers, and I loved it. I LOVE my sisters, but I was so glad to grow up with the boys. We didn't sit around fussing about our hair and shopping, we played. I grew to appreciate early on the playfulness of guys, thanks to my brothers. We made forts with the furniture, went sledding in crazy places, built towers in the back yard and explored the woods. My high school years were spent hiking, canoeing, running, cross country skiing and rollerblading thanks to my brothers and guy friends.

I love the way guys always skip rocks by the water. I love the way old men always have to crack a joke. I love the sense of adventure that isn't matched in us female counterparts.

I love helpfulness in guys. To my dad who supported me when I was training for a marathon by biking behind me for 14 MILES, VOLUNTARILY so he could give me water and whatever else I needed while I was running. To my little brother who never thought twice when it came to helping me scrub my car our after long road trips. To my older brother who drove hours just so he could spend a few hours with me when I was home one year. To the countless guy friends who have helped me move over the years, or patch my roof, put up dry wall, put trim up, replace car tires, or fix a shattered car window.

I love being a woman. I do. But I am grateful for men, all of the men who have added so greatly to the quality of my life. Thank you for your playfulness, humor, responsibility, help and friendship.

Some Sisters....Some Dancing....

Studette of the Month - May 2009

Mom, Colette and Ginette outside the Boston Temple

Of course, this month's Studette of the Month is my mother, although it comes a little late. A few things:

(1) I love, and have always loved talking to my mom. She is a good conversationalist, and even as a little girl, I enjoyed conversing with her.

(2) Mom is a woman of great depth. She understands things to a deeper level than I do, and I have learned to trust her judgment and viewpoints.

(3) She is a woman of great virtue. I have really never met anyone as virtuous as my mother. Ever. I am quite certain that I never will.

(4) My mother adores my dad, and genuinely loves and respects him. I always enjoyed being the child of two parents who genuinely love each other. And I especially loved having a mother who respected my father. I never grew up hearing disparaging things about men, which I greatly appreciated.

(5) My mother is unusually genuine. There are no false pretenses with mom, in any way. She is incredibly honest. If there was any error in her honesty, it would only be tempered by her humility. If anything, she puts her worst foot forward. She does not substitute appearances for what really is. I have grown to love this more, and more, and more with life experience. She is as real as they come. On the flip side, she appreciates genuineness from others.

(6) My mother is incredibly good. I could always feel this growing up. I think we all could. She is just a very good spirit. Though she is not flashy, or trendy, or brilliant, she is exceptionally good.

(7) Mom is confident. Mom has a quiet confidence that is utterly refreshing. She was never really prone to self-esteem issues. I think part of this is that being as good as she is, deep down she has confidence in this. Though she was painfully shy as a child, she always believed that when people would get to know her, that they would love her. I would wish this confidence on the whole world.

(8) Mom is intelligent and wise. She always insisted that we talk like we are educated. There was to be no use of the word "ma" or "ain't" or improper grammar. She still corrects my English. Mom reads a lot of books, which means that her critical thinking skills are well developed. I love going home and seeing which books she has been reading lately. Depending on the review she gives, I steal them till I've finished them, and she does the same for me.

(9) Mom walks the walk. There is NOTHING hypocritical about my mother. She doesn't expect anything of anyone that she doesn't do herself. If she expects you to be honest, she is. If she expects you to be a quiet giver, she is. If she expects you to exercise from the age 40 on, she does. Her integrity is among the very best I've ever seen.

(10) She is happy. Mom always used to say, "Chantal, if you are good, you will miss out on some of the fun. You will. But you will find that you will be happy." I have found that she was right, and that happiness is wholesome, and priceless.

Psalms 31:10-31

The Coffee Shop View of You

I grabbed my backpack, slammed my car door, and crossed the street in a hurry. I was late. 1307, my destination was supposed to be on the corner, but the closer I got to the corner, the more obvious it became that I had parked nowhere near my destination. I finished scanning the street numbers on the apartment buildings and realized that I would need to cross the busy street just in front of me.

Just as this realization hit, the apartment buildings suddenly turned into a coffee shop, and facing me was a man sitting behind his coffee shop table, book in hand, sipping his coffee.

I lived in Paris. I know why people really go to coffee shops. It has nothing to do with sipping coffee or reading books. It has everything to do with watching people. You make up their stories and try to figure out what you can about a person in the few seconds that they pass in front of you.

I suddenly became aware that my feelings of frustration were written all over my face. I could tell by his expression that he saw my predicament and was amused by it.

But I was late. I hurried on.

Later that evening as I strolled back to my car, I passed the coffee shop again. I began to wonder, what kind of story does a man sipping his coffee in a coffee shop make of me?

Lets look at his view. My hair is pulled back in a ponytail. I am wearing jeans, black shoes, a dark grey shirt, and a light grey zip-up hoodie. The hoodie is zipped up too high to be cool. Under my right arm I clutch a worn teal backpack that has more than a few items in it. The bag is not zipped shut. I am walking fast, and clearly perplexed that the street number I am looking for was not there.

I think my real story is as good as any story he could have made up about me.

I am in a hurry in part because I am chronically late and I always get lost my first, second, and third time anywhere.

I am on my way to a friend's house to babysit. (I met my friend mostly through a running group because I love running and I'd been praying for a running group near my residence.) I was supposed to be at her place at 7:30, it is now 7:40ish and I just discovered that I am a block away meaning I'll be 15ish minutes late.

If he was a really good coffee shop observer perhaps he would have realized that the tattered backpack is of the LL Bean sort. Generally a brand that easterners use. Significant because it is part of my story. I am a New Hampshire native.

The worn state of the backpack also speaks volumes. It survived four years of high school, four years of college, and three years of law school before the zipper gave out. I have it tucked under my arm because this veteran of my schooling doesn't stay shut on its own anymore.

The backpack is telling of more than just my origin. It tells of my compulsive need to be constructive, like any good type-A person. The children will be sleeping. The things I fill my hours of free time with are the contents of my backpack. Would the observer have guessed that it contains an Ayn Rand book, my journal, my scriptures, a print out of the teacher's manual of this weeks Sunday school lesson, and a Spanish text book? Ayn Rand because I believe in altruism and every time I defend it, someone brings up Ayn Rand. She didn't believe in altruism. I am still finishing her book.

The clothes I am wearing are a quick change out of work clothes. My jeans are a gift from my sister last time I visited her in Provo. She no longer lives in Provo. The origins of my shirt are unknown, but the hoodie I bought with Wendy in Salt Lake when we used to go shopping together on lunch breaks. The shoes are ones I bought for my mission in France and still love to wear.

'Why is this easterner in the mid-west?' he might curiously wonder. Because I came here for school and because of my love for warm weather, old architecture, economic diversity, places with character, and non-grid system cities.

Somehow I doubt that was his conclusion. But that is my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Randomness

Do you ever want to blog, but you don't have anything to say? That may make this the most random and pointless blog entry ever, but I am going to blog anyway. One of my favorite blog entries ever was by my friend Julianne when she just blogged because she felt like blogging.

Updates:

(1) I LOVE (underscore, underscore) my job lately. I am working on some cases that I really care about...and I love my clients...and I really, really appreciate the maturity of the people I work for. They are people that I silently appreciate and they inspire me to want to be better.

(2) I trained for a 1/2 marathon, but didn't run the race. I thought I would really regret not running the race, but I think it worked out for the best. It would have enjoyed running with my running buddies though. I have really enjoyed getting to know them in the process of training. We come from two different wards...there are two nurses, one graphic designer, one concert pianist, two lawyers...six are stay at home moms and me!



(3) Blog drama - who knew it even existed. I've had three incidences of blog drama in the past two weeks. Every bit of friction is a chance to learn and grow. So while I don't like blog drama, it does force growth...so I'm hoping anyway. I've still got plenty o' room to grow.

(4) I really love facebook. I really do. Recently, I have LOVED reconnecting with friends from my last mission area in France. One of my very close old friends added me. After touching base with her for the first time in three years, I found myself crying the entire drive to work just thinking about her (which PS is a 1/2 hour drive)...The last time we spoke on the phone we were cut off mid-conversation and I was never able to connect with her again. Just looking at her pictures I could tell exactly how life is going. No need for explanations. I haven't seen her in so many years.

With some friends, words are unnecessary and time spent apart is irrelevant....and there is something amazing about a friendship with a French person. They care deeply and I love them for it. It is so easy to lose sight of how much people meant to you, or you to them...how powerful and amazing those friendships were and are. Facebook is a medium that consistently reminds me of that.

(5) O'k those are my random thoughts. And now I am going to bed.

Studs of the Month: April 1, 2009

Derryl Yeager (l), an extremely talented dancer/choreographer and Michael Ballam, opera singer and performing artist extraordinaire share a moment together at Tuacahn near St. George, Utah. (Both do a little acting on the side.)

Photograph by Scot F. Proctor
Copyright 2001 Scot F. Proctor

Michael Ballam

Michael Ballam has had an operatic and recital career spanning four decades and six continents. A native of Logan, Utah, Dr. Ballam has performed in the major concert halls of America, Europe, Asia, Russia and the Middle East, with command performances at the Vatican and the White house. His operatic repertoire includes more than 600 performances of over 70 major roles. He has shared the stage with the world's greatest singers including Joan Sutherland, Kiri Te Kanawa, Birgit Nilsson, Beverly Sills, Placido Domingo,and has performed regularly with critical acclaim in some of the most important concert halls and companies in the country including the Chicago Lyric, San Francisco, Santa Fe, Dallas, Washington, Philadelphia, St. Louis, and San Diego Operas.

At age 24, Dr. Ballam became the youngest recipient of the degree of Doctor of Music with Distinction in the history of the prestigious Indiana University. A Professor of Music at Utah State University, he is the author of over 40 publications and recordings in international distribution, has a weekly radio program on Utah Public Radio, starred in 3 major motion pictures, appears regularly on television, and serves on the Board of Directors of twelve professional Arts organizations, and is an accomplished pianist and oboist.

Dr. Ballam currently serves as the General Director of the Utah Festival Opera, a company he founded in 1993. It has become one of the nation's major summer festivals with growing national critical acclaim. It was recently ranked as one of the world's top 20 summer opera festivals by "Money Magazine."


Derryl Yeager
Latter-day Saint. Education: MFA, University of Utah. Dancer and choreographer. Former member of Ballet West. Currently the artistic director of Odyssey Dance Theatre. Has had minor film roles. Played a dancer in the movie "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" (1985). Had larger roles as a coach in the TV movies "Whose Daughter Is She?" (1995) and as the historic Alexander Hamilton in the PBS vilm "A More Perfect Union: American Becomes A Nation" (1989). Along with Nicholas J. Gasdik, Yeager developed a deal with Del Rey and Fresco Pictures to adapt Orson Scott Card's romantic fantasy novel Enchantment to film, although this project is far from being actualized. One of the artists featured in the PBS series "Artists in Zion." Bio from "Artists in Zion" website (http://www.zionartwork.com/artists/yeager.html):

As a professional dancer for over two decades Derryl Yeager has had experience in evey style and medium. Originally from Amarillo, Texas, he came to the University of Utah and received his BFA and MFA while becoming a principle dancer with Ballet West. He then went on to perform in several Broadway Shows such as Aof five children is a testament to the depth of his talent and abilities.

As a choreographer he has also worked in every style and medium by choreographing music videos for such stars as Stevie Nicks and Julio Iglesias, numerous successful and crowd pleasing ballets for professional and semi-professional ballet companies, Equity Theatre musicals such as Pippin and South Pacific, and several film and television projects that has included the major television miniseries The Stand by Stephen King. He also has choreographed for the Utah Shakespeare Festival and at Tuacahn near St. George.

As director and teacher he has been on the faculty at two major universities and was Artistic Director of the Theatre Ballet at Brigham Young University for two years. As Co-Artistic Director of Center Stage Performing Arts Studios in Orem, he has helped develop one of the finest dance studios in the state of Utah.

With Odyssey Dance Theatre, Mr. Yeager brings all of his experience and talent to bear to create a truly exciting and innovative company that produces works that range from the timely to the timeless. Odyssey Dance Theatre has been a hit in Utah around the United States and in Europe.




Click here and here and for sources.