It's the little things...

 My projects for the night were working on a letter to help a friend with some injustice she is dealing with.  Still drafting that up so it doesn't count yet, but I do LOVE that by becoming a lawyer I can fight unfair things and I have some authority to do so.  It is so much better than just getting mad about it and wishing the world were a more fair place.  Don't mess with my friends.

Then spent the rest of my time working on good works number 24 & 25.

24 - Helping a friend with a traffic ticket for free

25 - sending a thank you card to someone

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I gave away 6 meals last week and one salad this week, spoke at the law school, gave a girl I'd never met before a ride to and from the airport and invited her to stay at my house while she was here for an interview.  I think that puts me at 23 little acts of kindness so far.  A shameful number if you consider the goal is 1,000 and I've been at it for a month and a half!! 

The problem is that I think I'm still running a deficit on good deeds.  My car gave out while I was driving home from work on Friday.  My co-worker, my landlord, and my neighbor came to help.  I am also grateful to the random guy who helped push the car, which is more than all the other angry, honking people offered to do - which makes me appreciate him all the more (thank you angry, honking people for giving me a contrast).  Other neighbors and friends have been offering to give me rides (which I soooo appreciate).  One friend professionally cleaned my couch (most appreciated because I was sneezing really badly with the unclean couch).  In addition, I received at least three meals this week (all much tastier than the ones I gave), a bottle of water, and eight rides.  Two friends gave me ideas of where I can look to find a car.  Two friends helped me find a mechanic. It may seem like I have all I need, but my car still needs fixing and I need to buy a new car pronto. 

Life is a game of give and take I suppose.  As for the saying "No good deed goes unpunished".  I really hate that saying.  Good deeds come back double fold.  For example, I offered to work alone two Saturdays ago so my other co-worker could make it to a rugby game.  Quite frankly he is a pleasure to work with, always thinking about everyone else, always funny and fun to work with, and a hard worker.  Everybody LOVES working with him.  He deserved to do something he really wanted to do.  The next week he decided I should have the week-end off and then helped me move a couch that I'd been trying to move for weeks - free of charge.  Then, another friend I had met up with for lunch offered to help us move the couch.   

You see, if giving were a game and we could only win if we gave more - I think we'd all lose.  At least, I know I am!!

Short and Sweet

Today's little acts of kindness: 

Ten - It was Mark's birthday on Sunday, so I gave him his own little packet of bite-sized brownies to celebrate.

 

 

Thankfully, he liked them...(when you read this in your head, it needs to be read with an English accent as Mark is English)

 

11 - Dropped these off at my neighbors - pumpkin muffins and a few little brownies...I owed her them for letting me borrow her can opener the other week.

Law and Order

Conscious acts of kindness:  Sometimes, I get to do lawyerly good deeds.  Today I mailed off a request for a recommendtion for a ticket for a friend. (#8) Yesterday I called up a friend's landlord and let them know that I was my friend's attorney, and that they should be mindful not to take advantage of my friend.  (#9)  I really do love the fact that I saved one friend at least $50.00 in attorney's fees.  That is rough when you are a student. I love that for my other friend, I can fight for justice and help her keep from being taken advantage of.  I believe in that and I love doing it. 

Enjoyed experiences:  I loved sleeping in.  I loved the early morning texting with my running buddies as we all decided to sleep in.  I loved finishing my book, "How Will You Measure Your Life".  and reading Ginette's blog.  I love reading about what she appreciates.  Reading NieNie's blog.  Love the way she loves life.  I loved the trees - the lovely, blazing autumn trees. Today, I'm in love with October.

How Will You Measure Your Life?

 

Today I had a 9:00 am hearing. I parked my car in my usual spot and walked across the park that is in the center of downtown. On my way, I walked by two homeless people. The contrast was stark. I was wearing a sharp, black suit and heals. Their clothing was worn and tattered. I was walking briskly with my court file and the book "How Will You Measure Your Life" tucked in my arms. They were just waking up.  One was packing up her sleeping bag. I felt a little hypocritical walking past them with this book hoping the man wouldn't ask me for money, because I had no intention of fueling any substance abuse. I was judging them, and at the same time thinking, if I could give anything, I'd want to put it towards paying for mental health treatment and other things that would solve the underlying issues that land people on the streets.

My walk is perhaps a mile. I am not entirely sure. But it isn't comfortable in heels. Of that I am sure. As I found my way closer to the court house I became aware of a man walking in the same general direction. We arrived at the court house at the same time. He was bald, in his 40's perhaps, with bright eyes. I thanked him for opening the door for me and he struck up a conversation as we walked through the spacious entrance towards the security line.

It turns out that he is a social worker. He has been doing it for 20 years, he said. As he told me what he did, I told him I'd heard that as much as 30% of the homeless have mental health issues. His eyes widened. "Oh, no. I think it is a lot bigger than that." He said. "I took my guys to have them tested the other day, and fifty-five of them had schizophrenia. You know, two things stop the voices. Medication and alchohol."

It was my turn to go through the metal detector and he gestured for me to go first. "Just what I do in the process of trying to save the world." He said.

"I admire you." I said, as I stepped through the detector. "I feel like every time I try to help the world I become disallusioned." And that was the last I saw of him.

As I sat in court reading my book, "How Will You Measure Your Life," I kept thinking that just then I was really regretting not asking him for his card.

Later that day I left work to run a few errands. On my way back a homeless man asked me for 50 cents, or any change that I had. Normally, I don't carry money at all, but it just so happened that I had grabbed coins for some street parking while I was at home for lunch. I reached into my purse to get some for him when he told me he wanted it for food.

I'm still much happier about giving food than money. Then I know what it went towards. I said, "Well, fifty cents isn't going to get you much of a lunch. Would you like some food?" He said yes, so we walked to a little burrito shop. There he ordered a modest lunch and asked for two more dollars for later. I told him I'd stick to lunch, and asked him all sorts of questions.

"Where are you from?" "Do you have family and friends here?" "Are you connected to any homeless programs?" "Do you have any job skills?" "Do you stay at the homeless shelter on Locust?"

Born in Granite City, but grew up in St. Louis. Yes, he stays at the homeless shelter on Locust. Mother died of a drug over dose, father died in an accident. He lost them both three years ago. He has four syblings, that he knows of. He has a brother, but his brother moved and he doesn't know where he lives now. His sister is always in trouble. He has applied for homeless programs. He has applied for all sorts of jobs, but no luck. He rattled off quite a long list of job skills - welding, point tuck, many construction skills, etc. He had joined job core, went out west, they didn't have jobs there, so they shipped him back to St. Louis, and here he is.

I wished him the best, and headed back to work. I asked him his name, knowing that no matter how hard I tried, I would not remember it. Gartain?? I even repeated it a few times to get it right. I'll remember his face though, and his story.

I really wish I'd gotten the card from the social worker this morning. Perhaps I could have accomplished conscious act of kindness #8.

In Giving, We Receive

Yesterday I set out to accomplish conscious act of kindness #6.  I texted my friend, picked him up from school, and took him grocery shopping.  He is really busy with school right now, but when I went to drop him off he stayed to talk.  Given how busy he is, I turned off my car, but kept my lights on.

It didn't seem like that long, but shortly after I waived good bye, and tried to start my car, it wouldn't start.  My battery (which I just had checked at Autozone a few weeks ago) had died.  Thankfully, I have jumper cables.  A security guard stopped by to help, my friend helped, and two guys who weren't too disturbed when I interrupted their intensely intellectual conversation to see if they wouldn't mind helping all came to the rescue.  The four of them arranged the cars, hooked up the batteries, all the while I sat in my car so that I could start it once they had everything in place. 

I sat there in my car thinking of how ironic it was that I had set out to give, and here I was receiving help from four people, three of whom were total strangers.

When I lived in Salt Lake I would notice this phenomenon over and over.  I'd set out to give - no strings attached, in fact, I sought nothing by it other than to help people and hopefully benefit their lives in some way.  In the end, the blessings poured back.  Thank you letters, gratefulness, service in return, respect, appreciation - in great abundance.  But, that isn't want I was seeking, it just came. 

The other thing that I realized, is that in giving, it has made me more aware of how much people around me give ALL the time.  It is hard to be a pessimist when I am constantly noticing generosity and kindness in others..

2, 3, 4, 5 Ah, Ah, Ah

 

This is a picture from today.  I pulled out my fall sweaters this morning and enjoyed the way my orange sweater matched the fallen leaves as I walked to my car to go to church.  Such a lovely day here in St. Louis.  Hope it is pretty where you are too!! 

Here are some more acts of kindness - only 955 to go:

Act of Kindness #2: Giving a ride today to a friend whose car is still in the shop.

Act of Kindness #3:  I had offered to give him a ride before and after his other attempts to arrange his own transportation fell through, he took me up on the offer.  Unfortunantly, he slept through his alarm and I had to leave.  But I showed up, so I'm counting it :) 

Today I offered to take him grocery shopping this week.  Apparently he had asked several friends to take him, but they had all forgotten.  Ah, the value of this goal. My friend will eat.

Act of Kindness #4:  And, my favorite - same friend.  We had a meeting we both needed to attend.  He had asked for a ride (he walks to school even when his car is working, and he is on my way), so I picked him up.  The meeting was over lunch time, and in my observations of him, he generally doesn't think ahead terribly well, so I packed two lunches that morning.  We got to the meeting and he asked if lunch was going to be served.  To which I responded, "I brought two lunches, because if I know you, you wouldn't have thought of it."  Somewhat belittling perhaps, but he smiled at that.  I think people like to be known.  He is a real foodie so I knew my simple lunch consisting of an orange and a ham and cheese sandwich wouldn't really hit the spot, but it was the best I could do. 

Act of Kindness #5:  Different friend - I'm not sure if this counts as an act of kindness, because in some ways it is self benefitting.  I cleaned a friend's office.  Okay, I work with this friend and it drives me insane that once a file ends up in his office we can't find it anymore.  It is also inhibiting to a thriving and efficient office when the other people in the office can't find things or clients have to wait because somewhere in this rediculously messy office the document is hiding.  He left on vacation.  I cleaned his office.  Hey, we are all happier with his office a little cleaner.

Act of Kindness #6:  Did the dishes at work for co-workers.



Experiences I am grateful for:  The lovely weather.  Perfect temperatures and TREES!!  I spent last week in Utah.  I love Utah for the social life, but I am a person who loves my trees and I love having them EVERYWHERE.  Hence, my picture on the top of the blog.  The trees here are changing and running on Saturday in the local park was so lovely it reminded me of Paris.  This picture doesn't do this tree any justice colorwise, but I loved the blue sky and the yellow of the tree. 

I am also grateful for a person named Mary Pinkston.  She is so funny.  I went to a bonfire on Saturday night and laughed and laughed.  I love her sense of humor. 

 

I am also grateful for the lunch a friend delivered to my office the other day.  It made getting out the door on Friday much easier since I had one less thing to worry about - a lunch. Being on the receiving end of kindness reminds you of how helpful it is - but even more so, how validating that someone cares enough to think of you.  It also made me realize that I just wish I was a little more creative in my giving. 

Lastly, my running buddy Lana.  The thing I love most about her is her consistency and honesty.  We did yoga on Friday morning, went running on Saturday morning, and I didn't know that she was teaching Sunday School on Sunday morning until I got to class.  In listening to her lesson, I noticed that she is exactly the same person teaching her lesson as she is running around the park or doing yoga.  The thing I love about that is that she isn't a show.  There is no fake smile, there is no pretending, there is no act.  She is Lana, in all instances.  She tells things as they are even at the risk that they may not make her look good.  I think sometimes she may feel like she doesn't always fit in, but I love her just like that.  Truthful, spunky, and most of all, genuine.