A Letter to My Nephew

Dear Nathan:

I think the fact that I planned to write this letter when you were born, and the fact that you are now over two years old speaks to my level of procrastination on some things.

Nathan, when I found out that you were going to be a little boy, all I could think of was what amazing ancestors you have.  The men who came before you are some of the best I've ever met.  You are incredibly blessed.

 

 

Nathan, when your parents were married in the temple, I told your mother that she was very lucky, and that she had no idea just yet how lucky she is.  I had expressed this same sentiment to my grandparents weeks earlier - of just how helpful he is and how lucky your mother would be.  My grandparents said - yes, when we needed help cleaning, guess who was here, Vince! Certainly, your father is not perfect, but he is a sweet heart, and a helpful person.  Having known him quite literally his entire life, I like to think I have an inside scoop on the caliber of person he is.  At the point that I told your mother that she had no idea how lucky she is, she had only dated him, but she was not yet acquainted with the side of him that would get up in the middle of the night to help her with you and your future siblings.  She did not yet fully comprehend all of the ways that he would sacrifice for the family that they would likely have together. 

Nathan, you will be acquainted with that kindness, but like most people, you will probably not understand it until you are much older.  Your father always was a good person.  Spiritually he understood and lived the principles of the gospel.  When we were on our missions, he used to leave little notes in French around my classroom so I could find them reminding me that he loved me.  When we were in college, he always made time to see me.  When I was in law school, when he asked me how things were going, he really meant it.  If money was tight, there was, more often then not, a check in the mail.  After I was done with school, the help was generous, kind and came without ever being asked for.

You may one day wonder where he gets this from.  Well, Nathan, the apple didn't fall far from the tree; your father is much like your grandfather.  I don't know how well you will be acquainted with your grandfather in your life time.  He is a quiet man, who like your father, quietly calculates for the good of those around him.  I first came to notice this trait when I was training for a marathon.  I was on vacation with my family and your grandfather planned out my running route, bought bagels, water, and bananas, got his bike ready and rode behind me for MILES making sure I had all I needed.  I think I was most struck by his comment when my knee gave out on me.  He wished that he had thought to bring money with him to put me on a bus to get me home. 

Your grandmother always has such raving reviews of what a great husband and person your grandfather is.  Since he rarely ever talks, even with those he knows quite well, it took me years to really understand him.  I love the memories of falling asleep to the sound of your grandmother laughing as they talked each night before falling asleep.  She would always say that he never had to tell her that he loved her because she could feel it.  I truly never understood what she meant by this until he came without your grandmother to my law school graduation.  The entire weekend he talked of her and calculated for her wellbeing.  But the most remarkable thing about that weekend, is that I could feel his love for me.  It is a tangible feeling, Nathan, and I hope you have the opportunity to be personally acquainted with it.

 

Your father and grandfather have both been the biggest champions of my ambitions, and they will be the champion of yours as well. But more importantly than ambition, your grandfather is always one to remind me that my service to the Lord must come first in life.  He lives this principle.  He quietly reminds me that putting the Lord first will keep all of my ambitions in proper balance throughout my life.  Nathan, this spiritual nature along with the kindness and love is what I would wish most that you inherit from your father and grandfather.  You have a rich heritage.  You may not have been born to inherit great material wealth, but as far as quality of being - you could not have asked for much better than you have.

I hope throughout your life that you will feel of the great love that is had within our family.  You will find there is ample love for you as you grow and progress.  Most importantly we hope that you will be a good person, and the kind of brother, husband and father that your father and grandfather are.  If you do, you will find that there are many happy days to be had in both your future, and the future of those whom you will grow to love throughout your life time.

Sincerely,


Aunt Chantal

Official Stats of 2013

 

 

 

Stats of 2009 (background)

 

Number of roommates:  1

 

Number of new nieces/nephews: 2

 

 

   

 

 

Number of baby blessings attended:  2 (in Nantucket and Atlanta)

 

First Baby ever to be given a baby blessing for the LDS church on

 

Nantucket Island:  My nephew Ben!

 

Number of startling pictures of said babies given to me as a Christmas gift:  1

 

 

 

Number of new solutions given by family members to get me married:  2

 

(For the curious:  dog walking and internet dating...too bad I don't like dogs and can't figure out how to use the internet)

 

Number of boyfriends:  1

Number of methods family members proposed used to find a boyfriend:  0

Number of proposals:  0

Number of fake engagements: only 12.

Kidding:  Real number is 0

Number of co-workers who got married in Las Vegas:  2

 

Number of times my employment situation DRASTICALLY changed:  5

 

Number of days of the week I have to work now:  Only 5!!

 

Number of out-of-state road trips:  7

 

Number of out of the country trips:  0

 

Number of states visited this year:  25 (yes, half of the states in 2013)

 

Favorite city of 2013:  New Orleans

Life Ambition Fulfilled:  Visiting the Spam Museum in Austin, Minnesota

 

 

Number of states left to visit:  5 (Florida, South Carolina, Montana, Hawaii, and Alaska)

 

 

Number of Young Women Activities planned:  2

 

 

 

Number of times I consumed alcohol:  0

 

 

 



Number of out-of-state visitors who crashed at Hotel Chantal:  10

 

Clue as to who one of my favorite visitors was:

 

Number of times I lost my keys:  Technically 0, because they were actually lost in 2012

 

How much it cost me to have new keys made:  More than 200

 

Number of months the keys remained lost until they were found:  9

 

How many birthdays the old keys kindly botched up:  1

 

Favorite General Conference Meme:

 

 

I hope you had a wonderful 2013!!

 

Because Some Books Change You

Tonight I FINALLY finished Team of Rivals. 

 

You can see it is a bit tattered.  To be fair, I've been working on reading it for a year.  I went to see the movie with Mark last November, and I was reading it by January, so I can only conclude I bought it when I flew home for Christmas.  I remember buying it and then realizing just how big it is.

 

 

But to me, half the fun of reading a book is the experience of reading it, the things it made me think about and the way that interacts my world. 

 

Prior to purchasing this book, I had been working in Springfield, Illinois every once in a while.  In fact, I traveled to our office out there for seven months before I realized our office was right across the street from Lincoln's old house.  Since only 50% of my clients ever showed up, I would wander over to his old house on breaks when my computer wasn't working.  I did the entire tour, visited all of his neighbor's houses. Then I branched out and visited every historic site related to Lincoln in that city. 

 

 

 

In November Mark took me to see the Lincoln movie.  Actually he wanted to take me to a chick flick, but I wanted the Lincoln movie and he kindly obliged.  After the movie I chattered away about different things I had learned about Lincoln.  As he drove me home, he made the comment that he wasn't as in to history as I was - or something along those lines.  It surprised me, because I wouldn't say I'm really all that into history, it is just that.... in this instance, my life sort of took me there.

 

In January, I loved going to court in Lincoln's home town and reading all about him in the same place as he used to practice law. 

 

But the book doesn't just talk about Lincoln, it also talks about the people who ran for president at the same time he did.  And, if you look back at my blog entry from March, The Sting of Disappointment, you will see that reading this book really helped me come to an important conclusion about disappointment.  It actually was pretty pivotal for me.

 

In May, my ex-boyfriend, Aaron came into town.  I had invited him to at least come say hi while he was here and he had ignored me.  I was on my way to the temple when I thought specifically of my conclusion from March and figured I'd take the chance to be ignored again, that I would chose disappointment over never having that chance to visit with him again.  I'm so glad I did.  We ended up dating for a few months.  He came back to church.  I really loved reconnecting with him. We always had a lot of fun together.

 

 

 

 

He lives in Alabama now, so visiting him helped with my perspective about the south as I read about the civil war.  

 

In the midst of reading this book, my friend, Nate Mayer, quite randomly sent me a link about the spirits who appeared in the Saint George Temple who asked, or rather, insisted on having their work done.  (This was in late October.) Abraham Lincoln was among those spirits.  The link Nate sent brought me to another link, which brought me to a book which was written about all of the eminent men (who were not founding fathers or presidents) who made their appearance that day. 

 

 

I ordered the book and devoured it.  Turns out, that Seward was one of the eminent men!  (Seward is one of the rivals.)  I was thrilled to know that (although I am REALLY puzzled at why his wife wasn't one of the eminent women).  But interestingly, I had just finished reading about the turn of the war when I came upon the name of Farragut in this book about the eminent men.  I looked back to my book, and sure enough, he is mentioned on page 655 - he was the Admiral who captured Mobile Bay, Alabama.  This is historically significant because it was a turning point, and because President Lincoln was running for president again, and this positive news put the faith of the people back in him and helped him win an election against McClellan (prior civil war general).  This is especially interesting because the book about the eminent men tells this story:

 

He had given orders which were disregarded by his officers, which led to one of the ships getting torpedoed and sunk.  The next ship almost collided with his ship.  Two very, very bad things at a critical time.  Not quite knowing how to move forward, and knowing that the course of the battle depended on this moment he prayed.  "O God, who created man and gave him reason, direct me what to do.  Shall I go on?" And it seemed as if in answer, he said, a voice commanded, "Go on!"  God had spoken to him, and personal danger could not deter him."

 

"Edging his ship around the others and taking the lead, he shouted his now famous lines:  "Damn the torpedoes!  Full speed!" As they passed between the buoys, many onboard heard the casings of the torpedoes knocking against the copper of the ship's bottom.  Many of the primers snapped audibly, but no torpedo exploded."

 

 

I read "Love is Eternal," in 2005.  It is a book all about Mary Todd Lincoln.  I read most of the book while I was in Thailand, and finished while I was flying home.  I sat next to a Canadian with a large bear, claw tattoo.  I was by the window (i.e. trapped).  Of course, Lincoln dies.  (No surprise, but you know, I cried when I watched the Titanic.)  So, I cried, and cried at the end of that book and the Canadian man felt so bad for me he went to the bathroom and brought me a huge stack of toilet paper.  I used every last piece.  In this book, of course, he dies again.  I read about his death while I was in a hearing two days ago, so it wasn't nearly as bad as it was when I finished Love is Eternal, but still.  Arg, I just hate that he dies RIGHT when things finally start looking up. 

 

 

 

There are just so many great things that this book offered to my life.  I just can't condense them into a blog entry.  My life is definitely richer for having read it.  But by far the best thing is that when I read about really great people I am inspired by them.  The thing I took from Lincoln that I would hope to implement more in my life is his ability to not be vindictive or petty about things.  He was so forgiving that even the south mourned his loss because, at least some of them, recognized that he was their greatest ally after the war.  I just can't help but read about him and feel as if I have just become acquainted with someone who makes me want to be a better person. 

 

Near the very end of the book I found this quote, "Whether it be true or not, I can say for one that I have no other [ambition] so great as that of being truly esteemed of by my fellow men, by rendering myself worthy of their esteem.  How far I shall succeed in gratifying this ambition, is yet to be developed."

 

I truly esteem Lincoln, and feel that he certainly rendered himself worthy of my esteem.  I can only hope that one day, after my life on earth has extinguished, that I can have the privilege of associating with him, or at least meeting him, in the life after this one. 

 

 

 

 

P.S. - if you want to borrow the book, you are welcome.  Just know that my copy is marked up and I'll want it back.







Birthday Summary

 

I woke up today to find that....

 

 

 

Today is my birthday!

 

Let me tell you about my exciting day.

 

Be prepared to feel like my life is so exciting, and yours drab and/or boring in comparison.

 

Before you hate me, just keep in mind that it isn't my fault.

 

Sometimes life just isn't fair.

 

Blame it on chance.

 

--

 

Last night, my car wouldn't start. 

 

I planned to WALK to work on this, my birthday morning.

 

I cancelled my beloved morning run with my super amazing running buddy

 

 so I would have adequate time

 

 for my replacement workout.

 

This is, after all, still much shorter than my morning run.

 

My roommate offered to give me a ride.

 

My running buddy offered to give me a ride.

 

But I'm on a new self reliance kick. 

 

By jove, I would not impose on others.

 

When I had the ability to get myself to work.

 

Come morning, my car decided to work

 

[Crowd goes wild]

 

I took it to Autozone to run a diagnostic. 

 

Nothing wrong, they said.

 

Well, then, off to work.

 

My license expired, on this, my birthday.

 

But I was prepared.

 

In fact, I was proud of myself. 

 

I had packed all of the necessary documents the night before.

 

I was wearing my most picture-worthy black shirt.

 

It is a 12 minute walk from my office.

 

In the hot, sticky weather.

 

And....

 



 

 

 

Technical difficulties.

 

Yup.

 

So....

 

I took a picture so if I got pulled over,

 

I could show the officer evidence of my due diligence.

 

If he didn't buy it,

 

I'd use it on the judge.

 

I then walked the 12 minutes back to work 

 

In the hot,

 

sticky

 

weather

 

And then I worked...

 

And I got yelled at by angry people.

 

Then I remembered I had brought cookies to celebrate my birthday with my coworkers.

 

But my coworkers didn't know it was my birthday.

I think I ended up eating most of them.

 

(And by them, I mean the cookies, not my co-workers)

 

When I was done working,

 

I went to drive home. 

 

And, surprisingly, my car wouldn't start. 

 

My phone decided this was the perfect time to die

 

because I had, after all, spent all day on Facebook responding to the 119 people who

 

kindly wished me a happiness, and more importantly - fun - on this, my birthday..

 

And texting back the 12 thoughtful happy birthday texts.

 

And e-mailing back the 4 happy birthday e-mails.

 

So I walked the three miles home.

 

In the hot, sticky weather.

 

--

 

I got home to see a gift bag on the kitchen table

 

Addressed to my roommate.

 

Totally kidding

 

It was addressed to me

 

Thank you, Stephanie!

 

Best visiting teacher ever.

 

My plans for the evening got cancelled,

 

since my car wasn't working.

 

They weren't exciting plans,

 

In case you were wondering.

 

I chatted with my brother and sister-in-law via phone

 

after my phone had come back to life

 

Bro and sis-in-law were exhausted

 

Because their baby tried to arrive on my birthday.

 

But she gave up and decided to try again another day.

 

I'll try not to hate her for life.

 

Ate dinner while chatting with my awesome roommate.

 

Called my old roommate Cindy back.

 

Now ready for bed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Year End Review

Last year, I set the goal to do 1,000 small acts of kindness.  If you've read throughout the year, you'd know that I did try - and I think I did achieve my goal despite the fact that everything wasn't recorded.  I am really glad I set the goal.  I think as much as I was inspired by my aunt and uncle in setting the goal, I was even more enriched and fortified in doing so.  I am definitely a better person for the little acts of service I was able to offer the world.

I have a little over a half an hour left before the clock starts again on another year of my life, and this year, I hope to continue to be someone who serves others but my focus will be a little different.  This year I am inspired by my mission president.  You know, he genuinely loved all of us so much.  He was genuinely Christ-like in the way he treated us.  I remember there was one sister who drove us all crazy.  We were talking about her one day, and he defended her.  He discouraged any ill speaking of her without being judgmental, without any lecturing, by simply being his kind-hearted self.  You definitely got the sense that he genuinely cared for her.  I was impressed by this quality of his.  And post mission, as I've talked with other people who served with me, there is story after story of how patient and kind he was with us and the weaknesses and shortcomings he couldn't help but find in us.  I would really like to be more like that.  There was a time in my life when I could be completely trusted in what I said about others.  I would like to get back to that point.

I realized when I saw the Mona Lisa for the first time that life is not about things like that.  It is the epiphanies and things that you experience that change you for the better that are what life is really about.  So many times those moments will never become Facebook posts, but they will be the type of things you talk to your family about during late night talks that expose your heart, and you for what you really are.  Those are your truths, and they are critical things. 

I would write more about these, but it is nearly midnight and I'm too tired to write about them. But this is my personal new years eve.  This coming year will hopefully bring more growth as a person and hopefully I can offer more good to the world. 

Stud of the Month July 2013: Friend Ben

Tonight I received an unexpected text from my friend, Ben.  I was seriously engrossed in writing when his text alarmed me to the point that my pen left a long streak across the page.  We all know how that goes.  I was kind of giggling about that when I found this text had arrived. 

 



Of course, you need to know the back story.  When I have cases in Springfield, Illinois, I will often go visit Ben.  The first time I visited him in Champaign he introduced me to his pride and joy flock of chickens.  He knew their personalities. There were the seven cool ones and the three outcasts.  He had made them a coupe. 

There was one major problem.  There was a town ordinance forbidding anyone from having chickens.  One fine day, as destiny would have it, the town confiscated his chickens while he was on vacation.

Ben was devastated. He even seriously considered moving.

But alas, it appears that friend Ben came up with a better idea.  I'm proud of him. 

I am proud of him because it is the antithesis of one of my greatest pet peeves - when people complain about problems they don't have any intention of fixing. 

Here there was calculated, intelligent action.  I respect that. 

For this purpose Ben is stud of the month for July 2013

 

.

Stud of the Month - April 2013

When I started working at my job my co-worker, Sarah, made the comment, "Oh Charlie, you will grow to know and love him." She had been working with him for over a year.

I struck me as remarkable that she could be so certain about this fact.  I remember thinking about it a lot that day.  What if I didn't end up thinking he was so great?  It really said a lot about this guy that she could even make a comment like that.  And it made me quite curious about this Charlie guy.

My co-worker, Andrew, also had amazing things to say about him.  To Andrew, Charlie was a mystery to be thoroughly enjoyed.  Charlie owned half of St. Louis.  Charlie might be a spy, we couldn't be sure.  Charlie never talked about himself.  Charlie could do anything.  One day, the office desk broke.  Charlie took it home and brought it back the next day all fixed.  Charlie's talents and unpredictable abilities were boundless.

It seemed the only person who didn't like Charlie was Andrew's girlfriend.  That was because she got sick of hearing about him all the time, Charlie this and Charlie that. 

---

On my second day in the office I had to use Charlie's desk.  His screen saver was...unique with cartoon characters.  The picture on the wall, unique. 

Then I had to open his desk drawer.  I laughed to myself as I sifted through measuring tapes, screw drivers and exacto knives to find the post-its I needed. Later that afternoon, I noticed a framed picture - of a tractor.  I found this especially odd when I noticed that there were dusty pictures of two little girls in a cup which, interestingly enough, had a design of little tools all over it.

Did I mention that we are lawyers?

Charlie was hard to get to know.  He was always in a good mood, very funny.  There were little, tiny clues here and there about his personal life, but not much. He let on one day after several months of working with him that he lived in England.  This was the first clue he dropped.  I learned indirectly that he had a girlfriend.  When she came to visit he introduced her as his friend, much to her dismay. 

I never could figure out how he had time for a girlfriend.  There were so many nights those first few months after the fourth attorney quit that we were the only ones left in the office working till late in the night to get all the work done.  I respected the fact that he was a worker, like me.  When Charlie and I worked Saturdays, the office was incredibly quiet. Charlie isn't one for much conversation, and we were both so focused on the work.  We both plowed away at everything we had to get done and then headed home late in the afternoon. 

Despite the fact that Charlie is an enigma, Sarah's prediction turned out to be true.  There are only three of us left working in the office besides him, but all of us think the world of Charlie.  I think we would all agree that we'd do just about anything for him.

First, Charlie is not lazy.  When it comes to digging in and doing the dirty work, Charlie will do it.  He never purposely dumps a load on you. I've had this happen plenty of times with other co-workers but never Charlie.  I'll admit that in my less awesome moments I've tried to shirk the weightier work.  Not Charlie.  He is a tremendous team player.  He almost always volunteer to take the harder cases just because he is THAT kind of guy.  He is the kind of person who is the first one there, and the last to leave.  I've seen him come to work when he could hardly breathe due to a terrible cold, or move, due to over exertion on the rugby field.  Rain or shine, I've never seen him take a sick day, even if one was more than merited. 

Second, Charlie genuinely cares about everybody.  The clients, us, his father, his friends.  It took a long time to see how much he really does care, and to be honest, it is incredibly inspiring.  It really is. 

He loves his dad unquestionably.  That is the one Charlie fact that is quite certain. 

He literally does go above and beyond for the clients.  He was telling me the other day how he found a client a job.  Really?  I don't know anyone else who would do that.  But Charlie does, because he cares. 

If I have a problem, he'll work on getting it resolved.  This goes for both my work problems, and otherwise.  When my car died, who was here looking at it to see if it could be fixed?  Charlie.  When my brakes were dying, who took time out of his insanely busy schedule...even though he really, really didn't have time to do it?  Charlie.  He even texted me super late to tell me he had a coupon and then went to the store with me to get the parts.  That's just my experience.  He does the same for everyone:  the lady at the front desk (he gave her a Christmas present/get well gift when she had cancer...I, on the other hand, had no idea she had cancer despite seeing her every morning), the night shift security guard (Charlie gave him a Christmas gift last year, they are chums), he knows the name of the janitor (which, shamefully, I cannot remember despite being told a few times by Charlie).  He always takes care of the paralegals, too.

Third, Charlie is so, so funny - all the time. He is silly in a way that I struggle relating to, but he is the guy who is going to throw on the Italian or Russian accent and make light of everything ridiculous.  Honestly, he is soooo funny.  One day I was in my office giggling after receiving a message from Charlie when Andrew came in to my office.  The ensuing conversation:

Andrew: "Talking to Charlie, huh?"

Me:  "Yeah, how did you know?"

Andrew:  "Why else would you be sitting in your office laughing?"

Fourth, after working with him for almost a year, I discovered that he was a boy scout - and I probably only figured that out deductively.  I had spent the weekend with friends at a scout camp.  I was talking about my weekend and Charlie mentioned that he had spent a lot of time there in the past.  I asked if he was a scout and then it clicked, "You are an eagle scout, aren't you?!?" Of course he is.  He's Charlie. 

Fifth, on the rare, rare occasions Charlie is gone from work, I usually later discover an incredible reason.  That is one of my marks for people I deem as amazing.  You later discover that their motives and actions are 10x better than expected.  So, a few weeks ago Charlie was gone for a remarkably long time - for Charlie, anyway.  Andrew had no idea where he was.  None of us did.  Later on I met another friend of his, which only by asking questions did I discover was a fellow scout.  Turns out, that day Charlie was gone when we could not figure out where he was - he was visiting an old scout friend who was about to pass away.  In true Charlie style, he never revealed it - just quietly went about his way and I only deductively figured it out.  I just love people like that.

And as usual with my SOTM's, this is just the tip of a very amazing iceberg.  I could write so, so  much more, and if you asked me about him I could talk your ear off for hours about the amazingness of Charlie.  It has truly been an honor and a privilege to work with him.  I can honestly say I'm a better person for it. 

I understand Sarah's predictive remarks with so much more clarity now.  And to be quite honest, I'd probably make the very same remark to a future co-worker.  You will grow to know and love him.