Matchmaking

People often compliment me on my matchmaking skills. In fact, entire odes have been written about me, for example, "Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make me a Match", to name a few. It is not just a talent, it is a sixth sense.

Mine is a thorough process. It begins with three very simple questions:

1. What kind of milk do you drink?
2. Do you prefer crunchy or creamy?
3. On which side do you part your hair?

Now, once one answers these three simple questions, I custom tailor the next few questions to the individuals. For example, if I were match making myself, I would then ask the following questions:

1. Do you have an undying desire to travel the world?
2. Do you have a goat?
3. If you were a mullet, what kind would you be?

My philosophy is simple. Superficial indicators are much more telling than most think. So far, I've had great success (if you close one eye and tip your head to a forty-five degree angle) the stats are impressive. For example, Donna and Ryan went on a second date - voluntarily (eeehhh?). Matt and Cindy never even meet for their "non-date" but I am sure they will fall madly in love...or at least go on a second "non-date" as soon as Matt gets around to inviting her to ice cream. (She is brilliant....he is brilliant, prefect). All in all, I think those are pretty good stats.


Of course my ultimate dream is to make a blog match. My questions would begin something like this:

1. Do you eagerly anticipate responses to your blog entries?
2. How do you feel about foreigners?
3. If life were a series of unfortunate events, which would be your most unfortunate?

I eagerly anticipate your responses.

The beginning...

For some reason, I've been very intimidated by this whole blog thing. I figure the best thing to do with tasks that intimidate me is to just do it. I think part of it is that the whole world can read my thoughts. That is kind of scary. Secondly, the whole world can see what an awful writer I am. But that is life. On the other hand, I love checking out my friends' blogs. I wish they'd write more often. However, I seem to collect friends who are witty, deep, and/or brilliant. I, on the other hand, rarely make much sense and I have bad grammar. On the bright side, if you get bored with mine, or get sick of the run-on sentences just check out my friends' blogs or websites. Theirs, I assure you, will be much more interesting in just about every redeeming aspect. I have never been much of a perfectionist so I plunge forward, flaws and all.

Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor ; spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.

-- Theodore Roosevelt