I was done the project my boss had me working on so he had me ask his partner if there was anything he needed me to do. It seemed that he didn't because rather than answering my question with mounds of work to do, he engaged me in conversation. He asked me what kind of law I wanted to practice. I gave him the honest answer, anything that I feel ethically o'k with is my bottom rung, and top rung is that I'd love to do immigration or international law.
From there the conversation led to divorce and that sometimes it is better for couples to divorce. He asked me my feelings on family law. I told him I wouldn't be interested in dealing with the acrimonious feelings that come with divorce. I remarked that some situations are just rough to deal with and make for nasty divorces. He looked at me, paused, and remarked that it really boils down to the people more than the situation. Without thinking I brought it back to the fact that some situations are just rough, like abusive marriages, a spouse cheating, and other tragedies; even good people would struggle. Holding his ground, he said no, it really boils down to the people more than the situation.
Noting to myself that he has a lot more experience both in law and in life, I realized that he is probably right and made a mental note to take notice of the truthfulness of this assertion in the future. It is not the situation, it is the people.
You will notice in the upper right hand side of this blog I have added a little gadget saying that I read NieNie. As you click on that button it will take you to another blog of a woman I have never met. If you search a bit, you will find a link her sister's blog. Last night I was reading it and was amazed to see example number one of my lawyer friend's observation. Stephanie and her husband were severely injured in a private airplane accident a few months ago. Via the blog, I have watched Stephanie's friends put on auctions to raise money to pay for the medical bills that will be in the millions. Stephanie's sister is taking care of the children and keeps a blog that many, many people she has never met have responded to. These fellow bloggers give her support when it is emotionally rough. Even more so, I noticed while reading her sister's entries that their spirits are generating love and resilience rather than bitterness and helplessness. Certainly this situation would seem to merit bitterness.
I think that my lawyer friend made a profound observation. It is not so much the life situations we encounter, but rather what is inside of us that really spells the difference. Prior to this situation I thought that our life situations defined us, now I am converting more to the belief that we define our life experiences.
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Thanks for this entry Chantal. I think that guy does have the right perspective. Character isn't made during a crisis, it is only displayed. (Or something like that, it is from "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People")
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