Who Are We?

I remember as a child listening to my parents speak. They were having a conversation about self-esteem and its relation to being children of God. My parents are both converts so I think the sayings that often become trite to those of us who grow up with songs such as "I am a Child of God" are ones that are incredibly meaningful to them. The conclusion of their conversation was - if people really understood what it means to be a child of God, then they wouldn't have self-esteem problems.

I remember thinking, as I often did, that my parents sort of live on a different level than the rest of us. They understand things to a more profound level, or at least, that was and is my observation. I suppose that mostly this really stuck to me because I didn't feel like I had a great hold on this self-esteem thing, so did that mean that I didn't fully comprehend what it is to be a child of God? My conclusion of course was yes. I still don't think I understand it to the level that they do.

About three years ago I was a Sunday School teacher. We were studying the Old Testament and my lesson largely revolved around Noah. I was studying one day when I had the prompting that I should start working on my lesson. As I did so much of my understanding regarding the greatness of Noah was opened up to me. His ancestors anticipated him. He was prophesied of before he was born. He was one of the great and noble spirits in the pre-mortal life.

I think the scripture that really hit me the most was Doctrine and Covenants 138 (verse 41 in regards to Noah). Here, President Joseph F. Smith had a vision of Christ and what he did during the three days before he was resurrected. He taught and trained those who had lived faithful lives about the redemption of the dead. But the thing that really struck me was the fact that Joseph Smith and Brigham Young were among those spirits. But they weren't born yet. I wondered, when they were children, did they know of their own value? Did they know that before they were born they had been taught by Christ himself? Which caused me to wonder - do we have any idea who we are?

It took Brigham Young several years to convert to the gospel. It wasn't like he just had a vision and he converted. I am sure he pondered and agonized over this decision. But the Lord knew him. He understands how we tick, how we think, how we reason, but futhermore, how we are. But I can only imagine Brigham Young's surprise when he later comprehended his own role in the Church to realize that beyond his own comprehension of himself, the Lord understood him.

Which I guess leads me to some of my friends. In multiple situations I've watched friends agonize over life's decisions. And a lot of times I'll listen and listen. Many times I know they know what the correct path is for them. But more fundamentally, I know them. I know they are good people. And some how I know that at the end of the day, they will not betray their own gut feelings. There have been occasions where I have told them so. 'I know you, I know you are a good person. I know there will be a lot of agonizing between now and then but you'll turn out all right.' Inevitably, they do. But sometimes it takes years for them to get there.

And as my friend Katie and I often discuss, so much of what we are right now is just a snippet of what we are. Even Christ's time here on earth is just a small picture of who he is. I think it is the same for us. Where were we eons before we came to earth? What gives rise to those feelings deep inside us about the path we should take or even about who we are? What lies ahead of us after we pass on? There is sooooo much more to us than meets the eye - even our own eye, despite the fact that we live with ourselves 24/7.

My brother and I were discussing the other day that as we live closer to the Spirit, self-esteem seems to naturally follow. So many of my close friends have admitted that often time their self-esteem came through feeling the love that Heavenly Father has for them through the power of the Holy Ghost. This seems in perfect harmony with the scriptures and watching Joseph Smith's shock that Heavenly Father knew his name, or watching Moses come to the realization that the Lord esteemed him as one like unto Christ.

In conclusion, we have only a small idea who we are. But I think that all of us are amazing people and that this is what the Lord is aware of even beyond our own comprehension of it. I think if we even understood ourselves beyond this mortal snippet, we'd be shocked.