31 Life Lessons

Well, today is 09/09/09, and you know what that means, tomorrow is my birthday, of course. Last year I considered writing 30 pieces of advice, but I thought that seemed patronizing, like I somehow knew all of the answers to life, but I don't, I assure you, but these are a few things that life has taught me.

(1) Most of the time, there are no substitutes for life experiences. You just have to go through it to understand. Life is not a spectator sport. Empathy and genuine compassion are bred by experience.

(2) Pushing through the hard times is critical for progression. Your life experiences will not change you if you do not persist through them. It is always tempting to quit, but don't.

(3) Know that in life, you will experience pleasure and pain, sickness and health, love and loneliness. Embrace all of them, because there is a purpose to all of it. Life will not always be full of pleasure, and life will not always be pain.

(4) Heavenly Father really does get it, he really does. There is a plan, and all the pieces fit far more perfectly than we can comprehend right now. Faith, faith, faith. It is a powerful thing. Choose to hang on, you won't regret it, at least, I haven't.

(5) Specific prayer is amazing. I think all people who know that God exists start here. But the trick is not to pray for what you want, but to ask him what He wants, and keep at it for a few weeks and follow the answers you get. This is faith, not a magic 8 ball or a genie, but spiritual work for which there is no substitute. The answers do come, even if you think you are too scientific to ever believe in such things. If He is, the truth will be discoverable.

(6) 'If you will, it is no fairly tale.' Theordore Herzl. I couldn't agree more. He was talking about the gathering of the Jews, but Heavenly Father, angels, spiritual promptings, answers to prayers, miracles, they are real, so very, very real. But if you don't have faith, it seems like a fairy tale, but it isn't.

(7) Effective communication is critical for fulfilling human relationships. It is a life skill well worth practicing.

(8) Do hard things, it is important to know that you can do it.

(9) The more you exercise self-control, the better you get at it.

(10) Education is more important than money. You can take it with you anywhere and its effects last longer. Developing critical thinking skills are well worth the investment.

(11) There is nothing romantic about being poor. I don't care what people say. Financial security is worth every ounce of self-control. It brings peace, harmony, freedom, and the power to dream and fulfill those dreams.

(12) With that said, there is something powerful and healthy for humans to work and honestly gain their income...and even if it wasn't about income, there is intrinsic value in work.

(13) The truth matters. Appearance is not reality.

(14) Living your values is about a kabillion times harder than talking about your values.

(15) Sleep is very, very important.

(16) In the end, balance is the key to happiness and it shifts depending on your life situation. Learning what the new balance when life changes is key.

(17) Take time to unwind after doing major things. Maybe this doesn't apply to anyone else, but it has really hit home for me this week. My past: I flew in from Thailand and New Zealand and in both instances went to work the next day. I used to take night trains from different parts of Europe and walk into class the next morning with my travel back pack on, unload and start taking notes. I flew home from Nantucket last month, dropped my bags off and went straight to work. I drove all night last week and went to work the next morning. Now I am drained, drained, drained. Take home lesson - take the time to unwind. Otherwise, you lose the balance, and it is not a good thing.

(18) Take time to smell the roses. This was my take home lesson from Paris that I struggle on a daily basis to apply. It was the happiest time of my life. I took 13 credits, normally I took 18 or more. My goal was to smell the roses everyday. It was AMAZING.

(19) Life is not black and white. There are a million shades of gray. To simplify it to black and white is to miss the nuances.

(20) Being able to effectively prioritize is critical to success.

(21) Reading scriptures daily is the best habit I ever set. I feel very strongly that everyone would benefit from making it a habit.

(22) Purity does matter. There is an integrity to it that is powerful.

(23) You have to have to give. This was one of my many take home lessons from law school. You have to have to give.

(24) I used to believe that we should always believe in the best in people...and most of the time that is true. But hey, everybody is different. Know that there will be exceptions here and there, but people are good.

(25) Everybody thinks they are good at heart. I have yet to find an exception, and I often work with prisoners.

(25) It is easy to be "mature" when you are not emotionally invested.

(26) Meet vulnerability with vulnerability.

(27) Good people are often not very charming at first, because they are sincere. They don't put on appearances so they can selfishly gain affection. But at the end of the day, they are worth their salt. When second guessed, they prove out.

(28) Have dreams.

(29) True love does what is really best for people. This is my mantra.

(30) In moments when you feel like maybe you are crazy or the only sane one on the planet, go with your gut. You are probably right.

(31) People have as much variety in their emotional build as they do in skin color. The sun might burn one person and tan another. Things might roll off one person's back that may devastate another. To expect everyone to be build the same, is simply not recognizing reality for what it is.

Well, there you have it. The accumulation of 31 years of life experience. And going back to number 1, all of these lessons of mine are pointlessly written, because experience is a much better teacher than a blog.