Observation: It Is All About the People

I was done the project my boss had me working on so he had me ask his partner if there was anything he needed me to do. It seemed that he didn't because rather than answering my question with mounds of work to do, he engaged me in conversation. He asked me what kind of law I wanted to practice. I gave him the honest answer, anything that I feel ethically o'k with is my bottom rung, and top rung is that I'd love to do immigration or international law.

From there the conversation led to divorce and that sometimes it is better for couples to divorce. He asked me my feelings on family law. I told him I wouldn't be interested in dealing with the acrimonious feelings that come with divorce. I remarked that some situations are just rough to deal with and make for nasty divorces. He looked at me, paused, and remarked that it really boils down to the people more than the situation. Without thinking I brought it back to the fact that some situations are just rough, like abusive marriages, a spouse cheating, and other tragedies; even good people would struggle. Holding his ground, he said no, it really boils down to the people more than the situation.

Noting to myself that he has a lot more experience both in law and in life, I realized that he is probably right and made a mental note to take notice of the truthfulness of this assertion in the future. It is not the situation, it is the people.

You will notice in the upper right hand side of this blog I have added a little gadget saying that I read NieNie. As you click on that button it will take you to another blog of a woman I have never met. If you search a bit, you will find a link her sister's blog. Last night I was reading it and was amazed to see example number one of my lawyer friend's observation. Stephanie and her husband were severely injured in a private airplane accident a few months ago. Via the blog, I have watched Stephanie's friends put on auctions to raise money to pay for the medical bills that will be in the millions. Stephanie's sister is taking care of the children and keeps a blog that many, many people she has never met have responded to. These fellow bloggers give her support when it is emotionally rough. Even more so, I noticed while reading her sister's entries that their spirits are generating love and resilience rather than bitterness and helplessness. Certainly this situation would seem to merit bitterness.

I think that my lawyer friend made a profound observation. It is not so much the life situations we encounter, but rather what is inside of us that really spells the difference. Prior to this situation I thought that our life situations defined us, now I am converting more to the belief that we define our life experiences.

Hello from Mississippi

My friend Amy is currently in Mississippi. She is in the military. I asked her I could post some portions of her last e-mail since it gives an inside look on what is going on there in the hurricane area.
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I'm happy to report that I am now back to the base - safe and sound. This area didn't get it too bad - there is damage but it could have been worse! The highway out near the gulf is still closed but I'm confident that they will open that soon and there are trees down and some usual storm damage but in Biloxi - it seems they got lucky. As I write this - I have had a good HOT shower and I'm comfortable with Power and TV! ;-)

Many restaurants and businesses aren't open yet as many people are still figuring out what damage they sustained or they are trying to return from evacuating. They were handing out ice, water and food at several locations in Biloxi this afternoon for the residents who are still without power. The National Guard is patrolling the streets and there were a bunch of Federal agents from Department of Homeland Security arriving at the base when I got here today. On Sunday, they evacuated the base here and many of the students were put in storm shelters. Because I went camping with my family - I was out of the area and that meant that I couldn't return to the base until they gave the 'all clear' so last night I had to stay at the camp ground by myself! The campsite was nice and it was a great weekend with my family but when they left me there alone last night I thought I was just NUTS! I made it through the night - met some really nice people who had evacuated from the storm from Louisiana and they are fearful that they will have a lot of damage to their property when they return. They fed me dinner and kept an eye on me since I was alone. It rained off and on throughout the night and then when I got the all clear to return to the base I had the crazy adventure of driving through Mississippi in rain and thunderstorms with constant 'tornado' and 'flood' warnings coming across the radio.

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Many people in this area are still reeling from Katrina - the repairs in Biloxi and Mississippi in general seem to be slower than in Louisiana - to me it seems that the money went with the publicity and that was centered in New Orleans. They are still repairing roads here and it's not uncommon to look up a restaurant in the phone book only to find that it is not there anymore.

Pray for the families that have been impacted by this storm and will have a long few months ahead of them. They are suffering from lost wages, damaged property, unexpected expenses from evacuating and from the stress of not knowing what lies ahead.

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Maybe we can organize something when Amy gets back. She is amazing about community service. If any one is up for that, just shoot me an e-mail.

I Believe in Love

It has been a very interesting weekend that has left me pondering some of my beliefs. My beliefs get challenged often times simply by getting exposed to others, their ideas, beliefs, practices, experiences, lives. Something deep within me, more often than not, simply disagrees with many ideas. But, I am at a constant challenge with myself to live those ideals.

One idea that I believe in is loyalty. I don't believe in just being friends in the moment. I don't believe in simply being friends because it is convenient. I am not perfect at this by any stretch of the imagination. But once friends, true friends, always friends. I believe that love is eternal.

I have heard, over and over, people say that their friendships are a calculation, a formula, a scale, and when it gets too hard, they walk away. I understand this view, but I disagree. I understand walking away from abuse, manipulation, and malicious intentions, but to walk away mid-tragedy...that I don't agree with.

Furthermore, I have watched, time after time, that when people go through a really hard spot, they find themselves abandoned by people who they thought were true friends. I really, really hope that I will never be one of those friends. But, inevitably I will let someone down, I am sure. But, there is something about watching a friend suffer with depression, death, mistakes, prison, anorexia, lack of employment, loss of a child, that in my mind, requires sacrifice and an increase in love.

Also, I do believe in love, marital love, family love, friendship love. I believe it is real, tangible, a power in life that goes deeper than any of us really comprehend. I believe that marriages can be glowingly happy; I've seen it. I am the product of it. I know it is possible for me. I believe couples can stay dedicated to each other in the face of short comings, disease, cancer, accidents, faults, most everything. I believe that criticism does not have to be an inevitable part of marriage and I do believe that marital love can be very, very sweet.

I believe that families can love and respect each other deeply. I guess I should say, it is more than a belief, it is knowledge. I know these things are and can be real. I believe that one man can be satisfied by one woman and vice versa. I believe in purity, chastity, and morality - not as a stick to beat people by, but as a support, a loyalty to another, a commitment to another human being, a family unit, a segment of society.

I love the feeling of love that comes for me after a long conversation with friends and family members. And that may be a really cheesy thing to write on a blog...but it is true. I love the feeling of warmth, brightness...and that quiet humility that comes from really connecting with someone. That quiet knowledge that I need to be better, because I love.

I believe in the perfecting quality of love, that it demands the very best from us. If we really have it, we willingly give the best we have for others because we desire the best for them. Sacrifice comes willingly and without compulsion. Love is a driving force for good.

I believe that people are irreplaceable. I believe in brothers, sisters, children, babies, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends...and that it has the potential to be all that we ever dreamed it could be.

These beliefs are just a part of me. They always have been. I think that something in me will always believe, and if that belief weakens through experiences of life, then I will always have hope, a very real hope, that these things are and can be real. I really have no idea where my life will take me. I could find myself in a war-torn country someday where damaging abuse has happened on a wide scale. I could live in a place where no one believes in love. I have, actually, already lived in a place where love is not as abundant as it is in the U.S. But, despite all that is said or done, I do believe in love. I believe in generating love. And if none of these things are or can be, then my existence is futile.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

You Are Belle!

Intelligent and kind. Your beauty goes much further than your apperance. Also, you make judgements of people based on their personality and not their looks. Attaining all the knowledge that you can is one of your major goals in life, but you are also a person who can make things happen.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Funny Little Moments

I decided last night that when I went running this morning I'd stretch while watching the French news on my laptop. Got up, went running, listened to the French podcast - which P.S. is generally much better about international coverage. So there I am stretching away while my heart beat slows down when the end segment was about a French study about the "American" sport of jogging with aging. The study compared people over the age of 50 who run a few times a week versus those who don't. These French scientists were "astounded" at the profound difference it made. Those who ran regularly were less handicapped, had a longer active life, and died much later than their sedentary counterparts. By the end of the study 34% of the sedentary people had died whereas only 15% of the runners had passed away. If that isn't motivation to go running tomorrow as well, I don't know what is.

Grubfest 2008

Something strange has been lurking about St. Louis. Maybe you've noticed. I first became aware of it last year 'round about this time. I finally was able to put my finger on it. The only word that adequately describes it is Grubfest.

After a surreptitious search of the dictionary I finally found the definition.

Grubfest: A phenomenon takes place around the peak meteor season of the summer in a town called Grubville. Participants, known by the local population as 'Grubfesters' find their way to a field (which is either infested with chiggers or bulls) and watch the shooting stars.

I thought for sure that after spying on last year's adventure Grubfest would not be a recurring event. But, as it turns out, it tripled in size AND had a 75% return rate of last years attenders. I blame this on the fact that people don't actually read my blog (otherwise they would have known better) and the 'Grubfesters' from last year are certifiably crazy.

Since I know that none of you would find the authentic dictionary definition convincing I attached some covert photos of the Grubfest phenomenon.





Grubfesters



Grubfesters Nate, Debbie, Eric, & Robert



Chantal n' Debbie grubfestin'



Laura n' Eric moseying around the boats. The "lake" on which these boats sit is a man-made lake. You'd expect nothing less of a grubfest host.



Robert Marshall(known secretly to Grubfesters as 'Host') with the boats.



Unfortunately, the phenomenon of Grubfesters is evident in other places as well. This phenomenal phenomenon may be taking place near you!! You may discover pockets of 'festers' during peak meteor time just before dawn on August 12th. Consider yourself warned.

http://www.earthsky.org/article/earth-skys-meteor-guide-for-2008

A Nastalgic Moment

I remember being a kid in junior primary looking at the class just older than me. I realized that one day we'd be grown ups. The thought was a little too weird to really digest. It was soooo far away. I couldn't even imagine it.

Before I went to college, I had never been on an airplane....or ever out of New England more than a handful of times. The thought that tomorrow I'd be in an airplane across the country was so...weird.

A day later I sat there in my newly moved in dorm room wondering if I'd ever have one of those often spoken of experiences of staying up all night working on papers. I couldn't really fathom it.

Before going into the Missionary Training Center there was that building, the mysterious building in which I'd never been beyond the room where you see missionaries off in. I'd watched my brother and rare good friends leave from there, but I couldn't really imagine that I would ever really see the inside.

Before the marathon, as they bussed us up into the mountains, it was that same surreal feeling. The idea that at the end of the day I'd have actually run a marathon was a hard to imagine.

Yesterday, I was sitting in my hotel room wondering what it would be like to take the bar. Well, I am half way done. Life is so strange sometimes. Today the girl seated next to me looked at me and said, 'We are taking the bar. How weird is that?' She spoke my feelings exactly.

But, somehow everything does get done. All of us primary kids grew up, and most have long since finished college, gotten married, and had children. I've now been on more airplanes now than I can count. In college, I stayed up all night writing papers on more nights than I can count. I completed the mysterious world of the MTC and I managed to survive the year and half after that. Somehow the marathon was run, gimp knee and all, and now I am halfway done the bar. Life is so surreal sometimes.