Studette of the Month - September 2008

I know what you are thinking...which of these is September's Studette of the Month. It was a tough pick, but I decided to go for the one in the middle. First of all, she is my roommate, so I get to observe her a little more closely than the other two. So, what makes Karen so great you wonder. Last time I was posed with this question, the poor guy got a 1/2 hour answer.

When Karen and I decided to be roommates, it was more out of convenience than friendship. She needed a roommate, I needed a new place to live...perfect. I knew she had a good sense of humor from a brief interaction at Family Home Evening, and that was about all I really knew about her.

When I moved in, she was out of town. As I unpacked, I observed her book collection (which includes the classics of Anne of Green Gables and Les Miserables) and her marathon medals, I was sure we'd get along well. My friend Dustin wondered how I could be so sure.

"The clues" I responded.

"Oh, so do you also have an obsession with honey?" Dustin asked. I had no idea what he was talking about. He pointed out an unopened box of honey on the dining room table. I was a little curious about the honey obsession, but otherwise she seemed like a great fit.

It shortly became evident that Karen is a people person. She is considerate to a depth that is exceptionally rare. She is always thoughtful of my situation and adapts accordingly. As my school schedule became more and more engrossing, Karen would come back from the social gatherings I could not attend and fill me in on how our friends were doing and pass on their hellos. I never felt left out or lonely even though I didn't do much of anything social for many, many months.

Karen is incredibly service oriented. If someone has done something kind for you and you can't figure out who it was...Karen is most likely top on your suspect list, if you have a clue. After she became my roommate, I kept getting thanked for things I never did. At one point a mutual friend was going on and on about how unusually kind it was for me to give him a birthday gift. It was so unlike me, blah, blah, blah. How right he was; I had nothing to do with the birthday gift. It was all Karen, with my name attached. I think she was cognizant of the fact that I wanted to be able to give, but I couldn't and thoughtfully attached my name even though I didn't deserve the credit.

Karen is honorable - through and through. I have a deep respect for her level of integrity. She always makes up lost time at work. She doesn't take discounts she isn't entitled to take. She has been more than fair in every interaction I've had with her. She gives more than she takes.

She is a leader in ways that she doesn't realize. It has been so interesting, as a roommate, to observe the ripple effect of her actions. I've watched her make dinners for many people when they were incredibly busy with school. Then I've watched those some of the same individuals offer to do the same for me when I was busy studying for the bar. I sat there wondering, where do people think to such fittingly kind things? Then it dawned on me, Karen. She set the example.

I had the same epiphany after a church mingle one Sunday. Before I went to her ward, she came home one Sunday and explained, somewhat frustrated, how everyone just up and left after they ate. So she stayed and cleaned until everything was done. When I joined her ward, inspired by her past comments, I followed Karen's example in the cleaning after, and so did a few of our friends. A month later, I realized that a great majority of the ward helped to clean up post-mingle. People just spontaneously joined in without even really noticing that a change had taken place.

It is not all that surprising to discover that at the root of Karen there is faith, deep, strong, vibrant faith. I have loved, LOVED living with a returned missionary. My mother is a returned missionary and have always loved the unique caliber of person found there. It is nice to be able to talk of miracles, the depth of love and faith that come with that level of service and sacrifice and meet comprehension.

You may wonder, does Karen have any flaws? Yes, she is most certainly human. But even her shortcomings are a reflection of how deeply she cares for people. It makes sense that she is well-loved by many.

In light of a year's worth of observation, our one person committee nominated Karen as September 2008 Studette of the Month.

Footnote 1 - She comes from a family of beekeepers...thus the box of honey on the table.

Take Time to Smell the Roses

I once mused to myself, do I want to live life like a science or an art? My parents live life like a science. Life is stable, secure, and predictable. I studied humanities in undergrad. It was a time in which I was passionate about art, literature, and architecture. I believed in following my passions. In my musings, I concluded I wanted to live life like an art...

I only signed up for 13 credit hours when I lived in Paris. This way I wasn't overwhelmed with school and I could focus on falling in love with Paris, which I did whole-heartedly. In the process, I discovered a new passion, exploring. In the evenings after class I found new parks to explore. On Sundays, I explored Cathedrals. I explored every museum, monument, cafe, concert, event there was to find. But mostly, I made it a goal to always smell the roses, which I did as I strolled home for dinner in the evenings. I savored every moment.

Today, I ran a new path and found some utterly beautiful landscape. Realizing that the fall is only weeks away, I realized that this too must be savored. These pictures really don't capture the moment, but I thought I'd share just the same. This is a scene from Tower Grove Park. Maybe tomorrow I'll get some pictures of tall, old, ivy-covered trees which line my running path and were probably planted by Mr. Shaw himself. In the mean time,

Enjoy...

The Ghost of Birthday's Past

The only problem with September birthdays is that it is right at the beginning of the school year, so I generally celebrate with people I hardly know. They pretend they care. I pretend to be thrilled about the birthday pencil from my teacher. I can't expect her to be all attached to me on the first week of school.

However, when I was 17, my best friend, Kristi, threw me a surprise birthday party. I did not see it coming AT ALL. That was points for her because, I really didn't expect a surprise party would ever be lost on me.

When I turned 18 I was a new freshman in college. I went out to breakfast in my PJ's with the other 12 girls on the floor who also had September birthdays. In the picture I have from this event, I am walking down the dorm hall with a t-shirt, boxer shorts, and a finger sticking out. I couldn't bend my finger because I'd jammed it trying to disparately to stop a zip line before I slammed into a tree. I hardly knew anyone, but it was fun to be a freshman.

19 - Living with friends in Provo. My roommates made me a cake and we celebrated. I still own the sweater I was wearing in the pictures from that day.

20 - Roommates pretended they didn't remember it was my birthday so nothing was said until really late...it was funny, but I wasn't hurt that no one remembered. I used to have great fears I'd get married really young. I felt a huge sense of relief that I would never be a teen bride. Broke my leg the day after and spent the next month on crutches. (What can I say, September 11th is not exactly my lucky day.) My friend Shaun took me to the mountains for dinner a little later (crutches and all). He made a birthday wish for me that my life-long dream of traveling abroad would come true. Somehow I knew that his wish would come true. He just seemed to me to be one of those people who always got what he wished for.

21 - I was on my study abroad in Paris. Again, still getting acquainted with people. The whole group went to the Hard Rock Cafe in Paris. They shut off all the lights in the restaurant. The waiters had sparklers and they set a cake with sparklers in front of me and the entire restaurant sang while the waiters pounded the counters. It was incredible. I spent the evening going to the Eiffel Tower...It was amazing.

22 - It was a Sunday in Nice, France. I had been told a day or so before that I was getting transfered after 7 months in my first mission area. Cecile and Martine had been baptized in that time. I was worried for them. The ward had a tendency to be harsh. In my parting testimony to the ward, all I could think to say was...if you loved me, love them. So much of what I cared about was wrapped up in them. Left the area realizing why, when you love others you love God...because he loves them so much.

23 - My birthday was on a Monday, the day before THE September 11th; my last semester at BYU. I celebrated with my Family Home Evening group. It was fun, but a little too fun. It put me furiously behind on homework. When THE September 11th hit, I spent the ENTIRE day off from start to finish catching up on being only one day behind. It was a rough semester.

24 - I was living in Salt Lake with my mission trainer and 4 other amazing women. Had my old roommate Leslie, my brother Vince, and Jenni & Danny come up from Provo for my birthday. My Mexican neighbors came over...it was great.

25 - Had my birthday celebration at my soon-to-be roommate Jessie's apartment. Aaron, Chad, Jessie, Michele and other friend's were there. Chad and Aaron sent me tons of helium balloons at work because the ridiculousness of the vision of me toting all of these balloons to my car was enough to keep them laughing for weeks. I left the balloons at my desk.

26 - My boyfriend and I used to plan dates on our lunch breaks each Thursday alternatively. It was his week to plan. He sent me a Gerber daisy at work that morning with a note indicating the location of where I should meet him. I met him by the fountain at the city library where he presented me with a shoe box wrapped in gift paper. The shoe box contained our lunch, a sandwich, bananas etc. which were wrapped individually. We took a tour of the library gardens. I thought that was it, but later that night he presented me with the real present. He was a writer, and he'd written a fictional story where I was the main character (and a pirate.) It was so funny, laced with French words he'd subtly asked me about in the weeks preceding my birthday. I came across it again the other day...man, I loved his creativity.

27 - Turned 27 my first year of law school. I had just moved to St. Louis. The Lindell YSA group took a trip to Columbia, Missouri for a conference. I got a birthday card written in French from some anonymous person. I spent all day trying to figure out who gave it to me. Spent much the day cleaning chairs in a nursery school for a service project with Ben A. and Cindy. The YSA group all signed a cute little birthday card. Pretty nice considering they still hardly knew me.

28 - Amy officially took over my birthday planning. A group of us went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Brien got me a book of farm animals...David gave me a Boeing paper weight with the world in it. Mark gave me a movie card. Liza and Adam were dating.

29 - Karen put huge letters on the kitchen wall spelling Happy Birthday. I thought that was really nice of her considering we had only been roommates for a few days. Amy's magic planning again. We went on a boat ride on the Mississippi, then ate dinner with law school and church friends in a restaurant in downtown St. Louis.

30 - History here has yet to be written. I know mom will call. I'll go out to dinner with a few thoughtful friends. Katie will make blueberry pie. Either way, I'll be 30 and excited to welcome in a new decade.

All in all, perhaps September birthdays aren't so bad after all.

Observation: It Is All About the People

I was done the project my boss had me working on so he had me ask his partner if there was anything he needed me to do. It seemed that he didn't because rather than answering my question with mounds of work to do, he engaged me in conversation. He asked me what kind of law I wanted to practice. I gave him the honest answer, anything that I feel ethically o'k with is my bottom rung, and top rung is that I'd love to do immigration or international law.

From there the conversation led to divorce and that sometimes it is better for couples to divorce. He asked me my feelings on family law. I told him I wouldn't be interested in dealing with the acrimonious feelings that come with divorce. I remarked that some situations are just rough to deal with and make for nasty divorces. He looked at me, paused, and remarked that it really boils down to the people more than the situation. Without thinking I brought it back to the fact that some situations are just rough, like abusive marriages, a spouse cheating, and other tragedies; even good people would struggle. Holding his ground, he said no, it really boils down to the people more than the situation.

Noting to myself that he has a lot more experience both in law and in life, I realized that he is probably right and made a mental note to take notice of the truthfulness of this assertion in the future. It is not the situation, it is the people.

You will notice in the upper right hand side of this blog I have added a little gadget saying that I read NieNie. As you click on that button it will take you to another blog of a woman I have never met. If you search a bit, you will find a link her sister's blog. Last night I was reading it and was amazed to see example number one of my lawyer friend's observation. Stephanie and her husband were severely injured in a private airplane accident a few months ago. Via the blog, I have watched Stephanie's friends put on auctions to raise money to pay for the medical bills that will be in the millions. Stephanie's sister is taking care of the children and keeps a blog that many, many people she has never met have responded to. These fellow bloggers give her support when it is emotionally rough. Even more so, I noticed while reading her sister's entries that their spirits are generating love and resilience rather than bitterness and helplessness. Certainly this situation would seem to merit bitterness.

I think that my lawyer friend made a profound observation. It is not so much the life situations we encounter, but rather what is inside of us that really spells the difference. Prior to this situation I thought that our life situations defined us, now I am converting more to the belief that we define our life experiences.

Hello from Mississippi

My friend Amy is currently in Mississippi. She is in the military. I asked her I could post some portions of her last e-mail since it gives an inside look on what is going on there in the hurricane area.
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I'm happy to report that I am now back to the base - safe and sound. This area didn't get it too bad - there is damage but it could have been worse! The highway out near the gulf is still closed but I'm confident that they will open that soon and there are trees down and some usual storm damage but in Biloxi - it seems they got lucky. As I write this - I have had a good HOT shower and I'm comfortable with Power and TV! ;-)

Many restaurants and businesses aren't open yet as many people are still figuring out what damage they sustained or they are trying to return from evacuating. They were handing out ice, water and food at several locations in Biloxi this afternoon for the residents who are still without power. The National Guard is patrolling the streets and there were a bunch of Federal agents from Department of Homeland Security arriving at the base when I got here today. On Sunday, they evacuated the base here and many of the students were put in storm shelters. Because I went camping with my family - I was out of the area and that meant that I couldn't return to the base until they gave the 'all clear' so last night I had to stay at the camp ground by myself! The campsite was nice and it was a great weekend with my family but when they left me there alone last night I thought I was just NUTS! I made it through the night - met some really nice people who had evacuated from the storm from Louisiana and they are fearful that they will have a lot of damage to their property when they return. They fed me dinner and kept an eye on me since I was alone. It rained off and on throughout the night and then when I got the all clear to return to the base I had the crazy adventure of driving through Mississippi in rain and thunderstorms with constant 'tornado' and 'flood' warnings coming across the radio.

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Many people in this area are still reeling from Katrina - the repairs in Biloxi and Mississippi in general seem to be slower than in Louisiana - to me it seems that the money went with the publicity and that was centered in New Orleans. They are still repairing roads here and it's not uncommon to look up a restaurant in the phone book only to find that it is not there anymore.

Pray for the families that have been impacted by this storm and will have a long few months ahead of them. They are suffering from lost wages, damaged property, unexpected expenses from evacuating and from the stress of not knowing what lies ahead.

....

Maybe we can organize something when Amy gets back. She is amazing about community service. If any one is up for that, just shoot me an e-mail.

I Believe in Love

It has been a very interesting weekend that has left me pondering some of my beliefs. My beliefs get challenged often times simply by getting exposed to others, their ideas, beliefs, practices, experiences, lives. Something deep within me, more often than not, simply disagrees with many ideas. But, I am at a constant challenge with myself to live those ideals.

One idea that I believe in is loyalty. I don't believe in just being friends in the moment. I don't believe in simply being friends because it is convenient. I am not perfect at this by any stretch of the imagination. But once friends, true friends, always friends. I believe that love is eternal.

I have heard, over and over, people say that their friendships are a calculation, a formula, a scale, and when it gets too hard, they walk away. I understand this view, but I disagree. I understand walking away from abuse, manipulation, and malicious intentions, but to walk away mid-tragedy...that I don't agree with.

Furthermore, I have watched, time after time, that when people go through a really hard spot, they find themselves abandoned by people who they thought were true friends. I really, really hope that I will never be one of those friends. But, inevitably I will let someone down, I am sure. But, there is something about watching a friend suffer with depression, death, mistakes, prison, anorexia, lack of employment, loss of a child, that in my mind, requires sacrifice and an increase in love.

Also, I do believe in love, marital love, family love, friendship love. I believe it is real, tangible, a power in life that goes deeper than any of us really comprehend. I believe that marriages can be glowingly happy; I've seen it. I am the product of it. I know it is possible for me. I believe couples can stay dedicated to each other in the face of short comings, disease, cancer, accidents, faults, most everything. I believe that criticism does not have to be an inevitable part of marriage and I do believe that marital love can be very, very sweet.

I believe that families can love and respect each other deeply. I guess I should say, it is more than a belief, it is knowledge. I know these things are and can be real. I believe that one man can be satisfied by one woman and vice versa. I believe in purity, chastity, and morality - not as a stick to beat people by, but as a support, a loyalty to another, a commitment to another human being, a family unit, a segment of society.

I love the feeling of love that comes for me after a long conversation with friends and family members. And that may be a really cheesy thing to write on a blog...but it is true. I love the feeling of warmth, brightness...and that quiet humility that comes from really connecting with someone. That quiet knowledge that I need to be better, because I love.

I believe in the perfecting quality of love, that it demands the very best from us. If we really have it, we willingly give the best we have for others because we desire the best for them. Sacrifice comes willingly and without compulsion. Love is a driving force for good.

I believe that people are irreplaceable. I believe in brothers, sisters, children, babies, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends...and that it has the potential to be all that we ever dreamed it could be.

These beliefs are just a part of me. They always have been. I think that something in me will always believe, and if that belief weakens through experiences of life, then I will always have hope, a very real hope, that these things are and can be real. I really have no idea where my life will take me. I could find myself in a war-torn country someday where damaging abuse has happened on a wide scale. I could live in a place where no one believes in love. I have, actually, already lived in a place where love is not as abundant as it is in the U.S. But, despite all that is said or done, I do believe in love. I believe in generating love. And if none of these things are or can be, then my existence is futile.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

You Are Belle!

Intelligent and kind. Your beauty goes much further than your apperance. Also, you make judgements of people based on their personality and not their looks. Attaining all the knowledge that you can is one of your major goals in life, but you are also a person who can make things happen.

Which Disney Princess Are You?