The Debate is Solved

http://rodneysmith.com/blog/

I fell in love with the photo above a month or so ago. It is so artistically perfect. But the writing intrigued/troubled me. The statement, though beautiful, did not resonate as true with me. It has been a long-standing debate between me and a friend whether it is better to have loved and lost, or never loved at all. And here, the picture claims it is better to be married and divorced than to never have been married at all. I have always wanted to believe this, but I don't. It is a romantic notion that doesn't square with my life experience. It is stressful and damaging to experience loss.

I read a study today that solved the internal debate for me.

"...in terms of health, it’s not better to have married and lost than never to have married at all. Middle-age people who never married have fewer chronic health problems than those who were divorced or widowed."

"New research shows that when married people become single again, whether by divorce or a spouse’s death, they experience much more than an emotional loss. Often they suffer a decline in physical health from which they never fully recover, even if they remarry."

However, the article does point out that "[t]he health benefits of marriage [are] documented by a wealth of research."

I also found this fascinating:

"In a series of experiments, scientists at Ohio State studied the relationship between marital strife and immune response, as measured by the time it takes for a wound to heal. The researchers recruited married couples who submitted to a small suction device that left eight tiny blisters on the arm. The couples then engaged in different types of discussions — sometimes positive and supportive, at other times focused on a topic of conflict.

After a marital conflict, the wounds took a full day longer to heal. Among couples who exhibited high levels of hostility, the wound healing took two days longer than with those who showed less animosity."

See here for NY Times Link.

A link to the University of Chicago Study is here.

[Take home message, choose careful whom you marry. When you marry don't have acrimonious fights. Guard carefully the health of your loved one....if not out of altruistic love for their health, than for the sake of your own health! :)]

Before and After; Thank You Design Hop

I live in a lovely house....



That just didn't seem quite complete.



So I called Dana the Designer. Dana runs the "Design Hop" Enrichment Group in my old Relief Society.

And come they did.



And painted...





And designed...



And sewed...



And organized....



And when it was done....





It looked lovely...

The curtains are especially great because they figured out the design and sewed the curtains while they were here.



As you can see from the before and after, they did an FANTASTIC job. They did all of this in just a few hours. Talk about synergy. Many great thanks.

Apparently, We Weren't the Only Ones Who Loved It

See here.

(As an aside, I LOVE the official google blog. Seriously, they are a brilliant company. Very innovative. They can track epidemics and the common flu based on the spikes in the volumes of searches people conduct. Before "talk like a pirate day" they noticed the ever growing annual spike in searches for 'pirate talk'. After the vice presidential debates, they posted entries about the trends of google searches for words such as "maverick" etc. They are constantly coming up with new programs like...exploring the moon...I am such a fan of constant innovation.)

Now This is How it Should Be Done

See here.

Snippets of My Life

I really enjoy following blogs. I follow many of people I have never met. Sometimes I am genuinely disappointed when they don't post...especially the blogs I really enjoy. It makes me wonder if there are people out there who love mine too. I doubt it, but just in case, I'd hate to disappoint.

Life here has been...busy. I've been up researching till almost midnight for a good portion of this past week. My roommate keeps telling me I need to find my balance. I haven't even been a lawyer for a year yet, so I am still trying to figure it out.

Life with Max is as fun as ever. This morning a little knock came at my bedroom door.

"Breakfast is ready." He told me excitedly.

"Do you want me to repeat it in Spanish?" He considerately asked as I slowly opened my eyes and groggily said yes. He then repeated the message in Spanish for me. (I am trying to learn Spanish, so I've asked him to repeat things in Spanish for me, which he doesn't really like to do, but did here just to be nice.) He is so cute!

Last night he was just adorable. He was so excited all day because my friend David was coming over for an early dinner. Well, this old house has plenty of quirks, one of which is that the metal door knob on the front door promptly falls off every time the door slams shut. My roommate and I just laugh every time it falls off, because we forget about it until the sound of the metal knob falling on brick steps reminds us that it is still there.

Well, David was kind enough to fix it and Max just had to help. Then David fixed the leaky faucet in the upstairs bathroom, and again Max just had to help. He wiggled up between David and the sink so he could really get in on the action. I couldn't help but take pictures of them. Tell me this isn't adorable.

And You Wonder What the Point of Blogging Is....

Clearly it is fame and fortune.











(Maybe I should start blogging about my job.)

Outward Expressions of Inward Commitments

While serving my mission, the line from the sacrament prayer which says,

"and witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son, and always remember him, and keep his commandments which he hath given them..."

suddenly had a deeper meaning for me. Though I had heard the prayer literally hundreds of times already, the meaning of it finally begin to sink in.

I began to realize that the act of taking the sacrament every week was telling Heavenly Father that I was willing to take Christ's name upon me, and live in accordance with His commandments. As a result, in the silence of the sacrament meeting, I now often find my thoughts turning to the past week and asking myself, did I follow the commandments? Did I read my scriptures? Did I pray? Was I kind? etc. Sometimes I feel my week went well, sometimes not. But either way, I then find myself reflecting on the upcoming week. What do I need to change? How can I do better? Are there things I need to be more cognizant of?

Today, during the sacrament, I bowed my head and closed my eyes as I privately reflected. I silently asked the Lord to help me that my life can conform to His will and to let me know of the things that I am not aware of that I need to change. My stream of consciousness ran from a reflection on the difference between Heavenly Father's mode of operation, which teaches us of His way, and then allows us to choose for ourselves which path we will choose...to what a contrast this is to the power and control behavior evidenced by abusive people...that pattern of behavior strives to compel others to conform with their will, and it often takes away the choice of others...I love the Lord's way, although often I wonder, given how important it is that we are good in this life, that he is not just a bit more compelling...but I recognize that even righteous ends via unrighteous means, are still not righteous...

I was somewhat startled out of my thoughts by the loud voice of a speaker marking the end of the administration of the sacrament. I opened my eyes to see two little, twin African-American boys, peering over the top of their bench at me. They then turned around, consulted one another, and both folded their arms, closed their eyes, and fervently bowed their heads in the same manner I had been. I was trying not to laugh when I realized they were copying me.

I suppose I shouldn't have been too surprised at the high counselman's announcement that the topic of his talk was on how our covenants are an outward symbol of our inward commitments.